Kians POV
The sound of my alarm clock woke me up, it was 7:30 in the morning, way too early. I wasn't ready for the day, I didn't want to get out of bed. I haven't wanted to even wake up, for quite some time now. To be honest I just didn't see any point, there was nothing to do, life was pretty boring. Living? it was all just a joke.
I threw the alarm clock across the room and sunk back into my warm bed, closing my eyes tightly hoping sleep would overtake me forever. I was wrong. My bedroom door creaked open. I groaned, pissed off with the disturbance, all I wanted to do was sleep! "What was that?" I heard Rickys voice ask, I didn't reply for two reasons. A- I was tired and B- I didn't feel like talking, oh and a quick bonus I hate the sound of my own voice.
"KIan"...Ricky said softly as he sat down on the edge of my bed. I slowly pulled the duvet from covering my face and glared at him, showing him I was annoyed. Still, I didn't say a single word. " What's wrong with you, you've been acting out this past week or so" "i'm tired" I grumble. He gave me a look of disbelief, dammit he can see right through me " And the truth?" "I'm tired" I repeat stubbornly, hoping he'll accept that as my answer and leave. No, I didn't want him to leave. Obviously that isn't the problem, Ricky knew that, he was no idiot. I'm depressed. That's the real problem, I don't know why, I don't know how or when... I just know how I feel. But I don't want to feel. I want to die.
The signs were so obvious. I stayed in bed all the time, i've lost interest in activities I used to really enjoy. I haven't made a YouTube video in a good few weeks. I would tell someone, I really wish that I could. But... I see no point, nobody can help, they'll attack me with too many questions and just make a huge fuss over me. Which is the last thing I want.
Ricky looked at me, I was expressionless. " Kian, something's up. I can tell, and i'm your bestfriend, you can tell me anything, i'll always be here for you" he smiled weakly. Sitting up slowly, I looke dhim in the eyes. " I'm miserable Ricky"... My gaze turned to the floor, I couldn't stand to see the look on his face. It hurt me, I'm glad I finally told him...it was getting too much. "I'm depressed" I carried on... " I feel like i'm a prisoner in my own body and there's no escape". Tears now forming in my eyes. " Oh KIan, it's okay" he said tightly wrapping his arms around my fragile body. "I'm here for you, you know? never bottle up your feelings, you always have me to talk to... you're not alone". I nodded in response. That's all I needed to hear. To know that somebody cared. I won't be alone, someone will catch me when I fall. Sure, I was still depressed, but I had Ricky's support. This will be easier to overcome.
I laid back down, closing my eyes. I stilll needed a few mor ehours in bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow II shut my eyes. " I love you" I heard Ricky say before he left my bedroom. My eyes shot open. What the...
