11 Blocks - A Posie Oneshot

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Journal Entry 1 - 7/24/2036

11 blocks from my door to your doorstep

Three years later and it feels too close

11 blocks. That's how far my house is from yours. You don't even know how many times I've wanted to walk all the way over there and forgive you and forget everything that happened just to hold you again. God, I've thought about it so many times. It's been three years and I'm still not over it, over you. Even though it's a mere 11 blocks, it still feels so close. It's so suffocating to me.

I thought I broke the last of that breakdown

The morning I sold your winter coat

It took me a whole year to get rid of everything you left. I'm not even sure what really was yours and what was mine because our wardrobes just combined. Perks of dating a girl, right? I'd steal some of your hoodies and band t-shirts while you'd steal some sweatpants and sweaters from me. I could've sent what I believed to be yours in a box, but it hurt too much. All the pain, all the memories.

With every sweater, I remembered all of our lazy Sundays where we'd stay inside and watch Disney movies until 2 a.m. With every hoodie, I remembered the way you'd stick your arms in the front pocket of my hoodie and how your head would rest on my shoulder. It didn't even have to be a cold day for you to do that, it was just your special way of being as close to me as possible.

With every pair of socks, I remembered your unique style. You'd wear (my) baggy shirts paired with ridiculously patterned pants and your odd little socks. We had made it a habit to stop by the crazy sock store in the mall to check out the socks. Every single time we went in, we came out with a new pair of socks for you. Sometimes they'd have silly sayings on it, some you just loved the design, and other times you'd by the most ridiculous ones you could find.

Every accessory reminded me of how you'd steal them from me because it would match your outfit. I found the necklace you had given me the other day. The one with the key and heart with your initials engraved in them. I found it underneath Lizzie's bed. She probably took it so that I wouldn't obsess over it and be reminded of it and burst into tears. Well, at least she tried, because that's exactly what I'm doing now.

Every single article of clothing I owned had a memory of you. I couldn't deal with it. I think I bought a whole new wardrobe after things ended between us. I changed up my entire style. I traded most of my sweaters and hoodies for blouses and cute tops. I figured that if I look like I have my life together, things would've fallen into place. It sorta did, but there was a giant you-shaped hole in my heart.

I sold your winter coat to my neighbor for a whopping $5. These mere $5 could never is replace the memories of us, back when everything was all right. Back when we were happy. Back when I was happy.

Journal Entry 2 - 8/02/2036

It doesn't feel right when I'm grabbing a coffee

The same old spot, but I'm on my own

I still go to our favorite coffee shop. I sit in our same spot. You know, the corner where you can see everyone and everything in the petite little shop. I It feels so wrong being there without you, but the cup of morning joe I'd always order keeps me coming back. It could also be the fact that I hope to run into you, to see how you're doing, to see your gorgeous smile all over again. But to my disappointment, after three years, you've never once stopped by.

Journal Entry 3 - 8/05/2036

I feel OK in the day, but at nighttime

You know how I get when I'm alone