Our body stands in the mirror. I can't see you and you can't see me. How I wish that you could. Contracting and flowing the cells that keep you alive. You keep me alive too. We are connected. Not metaphorically. Physically. Actually.
Connected.
You've been taught, Brain, that you are the only one that feels the things beneath the skin that encases us. You are wrong. You see, I own a cluster of neurons. Just like yours. I feel things too.
For instance, I love you.
I love the way you think. I love the way you bounce me around inside the walls of this cage whenever you feel excited, or nervous, or scared. I love how you make me patter and skip when you see a pair of shoes that you love. Or the time that other girl smiled at us.
I wish that you loved me too.
We are just friends, or maybe clumsy teammates. Sometimes I wonder why you keep me alive? Is it because deep down you care about me, or is it because, without me, you die?
I know that you want to, sometimes.
Do you think that it's you, who stops yourself? It's not, it's me. I stop you. You think of me a vessel, an organ of no greater value. You think I have no power.
Don't you feel my power?
You must. Otherwise, you wouldn't blame me when I crack. Where there is pain, you blame me. I can not help what our eyes see, what our ears hear, how our body moves through the world. You have loved many other brains as I have loved many other hearts. Why can't we ever find each other?
Are brains and hearts not meant to love one another?
Is it because you are above me and I below you? Is it because, when we stand here in the mirror, all you see is our skin. I know that you don't like our skin. I can feel that you don't. Is that all that matters to you?
Do I not matter?
It is you who damages me. With all your bad habits. All your bad choices. You make everything so difficult. You think it's complicated. You think the world is against us. Although we are connected, it is you who won't let us connect.
I am right here.
I am sending you a signal. Can you feel it? Can you send me one back, so I know? Please don't block it this time. Listen to me. Trust in me. I have something to tell you.
Are you listening?
Of all the bodies, in all the world, this is the one we were given. The one we were gifted. We're in this together. You are not alone. You can't see me but I see you when you use our hand to brush the hair from our eyes. Lean closer.
Can you see me now?
A gentle thumping. Sixty to one hundred beats per minute. What a mess, we are. You think that's funny. It makes us laugh. I think you could love me. Someday. But today you are not ready. That's okay.
At least you saw me.
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