18 Sweetest Things About Stella

Prologue

Things were in right place.I am ready to put in the last piece to his puzzle.I am ready to end things that keeps on struggling me.I had prepared myself and the things that will deliver my last words to the people I'll leave here in this world.

'As if someone is really there for you in the first place'

Everything is fine.Like if you'll compare it to a death plan, the one who's going to be grieved on is the only one missing.But everything thar seems so fine get twisted because of this man

"Don't Stella,Please don't kill yourself"

"Nothing's gonna change my decision,Neither you"

The scenario inside my head is already in plan.It was just inches left before I face my final curtain.I was standing at one of our tallest building in school.Nobody had caught me neither the guard but  this weird guy is such a trouble.How can he follow me here?

"Please, do you really know the consequences of what you are doing,what will happen to your love ones that will be left behind? Haven't you think of them?Or are you just selfish"

I was a tough woman.I did not show any signs of weakness infront of people.But his words hit me .Tears started to run down my cheeks.It was a painful decision . But I know this would release me in the pain that was holding up my heart for the longest time. And what hurt me most is that he is mistaken.

I am not selfish.Its just that my death really doesn't matter to anyone.No one had ever shown kindness to me.
Neither want me to stay.

I release my one feet in the air and release my hands to feel the air for the one last time.

Its cold,just like what will happen to me after i  jump off this building

"Give me 18 reasons Stella" i froze.my hands in the air.

"You'll give me 18 reasons why you should end your life,this is freaking absurd but i dare you"he's panicking.his voice is shaking

"But in return, you'll let me give you 18 reasons.18 reasons why you shouldn't kill yourself.We'll have a race on which one will give the 18 reasons complete. And i swear, you'll not kill yourself after that"

He's such a mischievous one.Don't even know  what his name.

I stand still in the barricades facing him behind.

"Please Stella, i'm telling you you'll regret your decision.I don't know what you had experienced in the past, but i hate to know that I cannot do anything to save you from that misery,Please, Stella,get down already please i'm begging you" i freeze in the moment

He's crying

No one had ever cry for me.Neither my parents who raised me.Neither my friends.He's the only one

No Stella, you'd plan for this the long time.You are in so much pain and you need to rest.

But his voice is pleading.

You are such a reckless freak,i told you not to touch this but what did you do? Did you really know how much this cost.It does not even worth your life

You f****ng bitch i wish i didn't adopt you in the first place

I'm really disappointed Stella, I wish you don't appear to us anymore.

thoughts are start flashing my mind,its like bullets that hunts me and shoot me. they were crawling in and try to drown me all and over again. tears blurried my eyes.this isn't getting over unless I act on it.As I face my last farewell,my body act numb.nothing to feel, my heart in numb pain.

i really feel hopeless, I am such a living trash that needs to be thrown.I am hopeless ,the numbness that is crawling all over my body is suffocating me .all i want is to rest.

I turned to him but my eyes were already puffed with tears.i cannot see his face. IHe's still crying and pleading but things cannot be resolved anymore.My eyes are getting sleepy.I already feel sleepy.I wanna close my eyes.I really want

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18 SWEETEST THINGS ABOUT STELLA
@mchllattae formerly blackangel_147
All right reserved
2019

Inspired from the K-movie, 18 Again