WONDERS

I don't know what to do..really I didn't even know him until when we were in 8th grade.He confessed that he like me..no he loved me,I didn't know what to do but say "it's a joke".I was wrong in every way,I was blind and not noticed how every step I take he will catch a glance and look away.Now my feeling are hurting me for him...I don't know if I want him or don't-
New Year's Eve is going to happen tomorrow and I want my 2019 to start out right..I really do,such a silly thing a fifteen year could say.
His frickles that I didn't even notice until I look at him in a affection was a beauty thing on him,he is handsome when he isn't lazy.The only thing that kept pushing me away was...my friends,like what will they say..would they laugh at me,make fun of him or me.
Half of me doesn't care how he looks but the other one is calling me out! I shouldn't care on what other people think but it's insecurity that catch up.
I'm going to ask him tomorrow,I don't know if he is going to reject me like I did to him that time when he told me..I was beautiful to him that I was his FIRST girl to ever confessed.
I wonder if he would say yes but the rest and the rejection killing me inside. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve which then it would be New Years I hope he will say yes.
I hope he will say yes and doesn't reflect the pass.
I...love him.