Nearly Lost

Chapter 4

"I'm not okay but I smile anyways"

Playlist for today (listen for better reading experience!): Inside out (feat. Charlee) - The Chainsmokers

I drive in tears and frustration. I have no leads on my father's death nor Jay's disappearance . I've been stuck in one place for like, forever, and it feels like the whole damn town is hiding something and I'm the only one who isn't in on the bloody secret.

I sigh, feeling my dear friend, exhaustion, take over once again. We've been hanging out a lot these days since Dad decided to die and Jay thought it was cool to disappear on me and leave me as the helpless piece of shit I am today.

I'm slowly losing my mind.

I barely get to the park without hitting someone on the way. I stare at the sign hovering over the gate, and that's when it hits me. What am I doing here? I instantly feel stupid. I rushed all the way here for nothing. No reason at all. But it will shock you, I found myself coming here every single day after school, and I found him there every single day, same time, same outfit, same expression. No change.

I first started out by staring at him from afar, trying to understand what could probably be the reason why he was always staring at that phone of his. Did he find solace in his phone? Was he staring at a picture of a loved one? Was he mesmerized by a text he got from his friend, family, or girlfriend/boyfriend? Or was he staring at bad news he got from the internet or a person perhaps? It was hard to tell with his blank expression and honestly it was starting to irritate me. Why was he so hard to read? But my main question was always "What could be so interesting on that God damn phone that he couldn't get his eyes off?".

I started gathering up a little courage and followed him but left a reasonable space between us so I didn't look too suspicious. Thinking about it now, I was surprised at how creepy I sounded.

Gosh Kira, instead of taking selfies and going to parties like any normal teenage girl, you're too busy stalking this boy you don't know from Adam.

It was very clear to me that I was being a creep, but it didn't stop me nevertheless.

I felt lucky one day and even sat next to him. He didn't glance at me but continued staring at his phone. Before I could take a closer look at his phone, he switched it off, stood up and walked away. I gawked at him (not so discreetly might I add) as he walked away.

Without turning to look at me, he says "You should stop staring at people like that. It makes them uncomfortable" and with that he's gone.

My confusion was immeasurable.

I was irritated with his remark and I wished I had enough time to gather myself together to give him a sharp retort, but I was relieved to hear his voice. He sounded like any other normal asshole of a teenage boy, so there was nothing extraordinary about him. But the vibe he gave off, it didn't sit right. And some how, hearing his voice reminded me of someone...

***

February 9th, 2018 - The Day I Got Kidnapped (which is well, today)

I decided today was the day I was going to pay a visit to the Adams' household and honestly, I was a nervous wreck. I haven't visited the place since Jay went missing and I was so scared that once I got there, I'll break down into uncontrollable sobs in front of his mum. The poor woman has lost her only family and she also has to deal with her son's overemotional best friend? I think not.

I first decided it will be best if I headed to the Park first, for good vibes and energy and all that hippie stuff I guess. Or maybe you want to see that boy again. I shake my head, trying to focus on the bigger picture here.