Selling Earth

"You're willing to sell us your planet?"

The aliens looked at you in disbelief. They had come to Earth hoping they could settle there, as they had done with several other planets across the galaxy; they wanted to make the Blue Planet theirs, but they did not think it would be that easy. They could simply buy it?

"Well yeah, I mean, look at what it's become because of us, there's no way we can fix it now. But you could do it, you must have the necessary technology. And I need the money, so..."

You had no idea how you ended up offering a bunch of aliens to buy Earth. You had seen countless movies about aliens invading Earth and they all depicted the event in the same way: humans VS aliens, the two species killing each other in a fight for survival. So you panicked. You decided to just tell them they could buy the planet. It must cost quite a lot, right? At least enough for you to use the money to pay off your student debt and eat something other than grilled cheese and ramen noodles every day.

The three aliens looked at each other and spoke in some weird alien language. You had offered them to sit on your bed, so you were standing there awkwardly, watching them decide the fate of your planet in front of you.

"We accept."

Your head jerked up and you met one of the aliens' eyes. They stood up and all looked at you, which made you feel uncomfortable. You tried to avoid their insisting gaze, but their eyes were strangely captivating. They were as dark as black holes, and you could see in them a faint glitter, as though there were dozens of galaxies trapped inside.

You suddenly came back to your senses and felt your cheeks slightly blush.

"Oh, erm, cool. I mean, that's great. So, I guess we have a deal then."

You held out your hand to shake theirs and finally be done with all this, but they just gave it a weird look before looking up at you again. Embarrassed, you let your arm fall to your side.

"We accept your offer, but on one condition."

Oh shit. You suddenly felt your heart racing and cold sweat running down your back. Asking for a condition is never a good sign. Do they want to abduct me? To bring me to their spaceship and do experiments on me? Are they going to kill me? I didn't even finish my English assignment yet! Dozens of scenarios came to your mind, and none of them were in your favor.

"We want you to marry one of our kind."

...Wait, what?

"Uh... What? You want me to marry an al... one of you?"

"With our new acquisition and our settling on Planet Earth, we think it is important to strengthen our bond with earthlings. And what stronger bond than that of marriage?"

You could not believe it. After all you had imagined in these few minutes of panic, marrying an alien seemed like an offer fallen down from the sky. Well, it literally was. You could not help but burst out laughing, startling the aliens. After you recollected yourself, you smiled and looked at the three figures standing in front of you.

"I accept".

You were about to become rich and marry an alien. How cool was that?