[ i ]
my head hurts like a thousand echoes
i wait and hope the agony goes
one small object, one big impact to the head
but getting hit once was always better than being dead[ ii ]
it was hard to smile
it was like i was running a mile
my head told me not to laugh like crazy
but my heart, wanting to be happy for once, was lazy[ iii ]
just because of one headache, i whine
i act like i want the attention like it was mine
my memories flood back like a waterfall
and when you left, i just wanted to turn it all[ iv ]
why'd you leave, this day, when i'm supposed to be happy with the ones i feel happy with, why now?
now that i thought you lived a happy life, i only asked now, how?
were we not enough?
or are we the reason that it's the world you're tired of?[ v ]
without you here, it feels rather empty
without you here, i feel very lonely
it's rather good that some people moved on
but i haven't, because your absence hit me like a ton[ vi ]
with the people you were left with, i could see you were tired
you were able to keep your strong phase throughout your whole life, but sure, you lost your life
you lost yourself in your own world
let's just say you tried[ vii ]
out of all the 365 days in the year, it had to be december 18
out of happiness and sadness, you were stuck in between
but you fell into the deepest pits of darkness, and ended up with death.
i'm stuck now too, but i don't want to escape[ viii ]
let the scars absorb the pain, i should've gave my life earlier than this
i want to, but i can't
my family, my friends, my friends whom i don't even know physically
i can't bring you back, so all i can do is rant[ ix ]
no one cares, only i did
why would anyone even fucking care?
i'm just a person, no one tried finding me even though they knew i hid
if anyone else tried finding me, no one would dare[ x ]
this is my last goodbye, my last voice
my heart that beats for you, is long dead
you weren't here for a whole year, and it still hurts like a dagger straight at my heart
it would only take a few minutes, and my soul would be faded[ xi ]
i'm dead
dead inside
no one can change that
now that i remember i never helped you with your life
you died because of meand so now it's my turn to die for you.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/170871938-288-k175772.jpg)