My Darling Lies Over the Ocean (YouTubers AU)

32. Always hold onto the good memories.

Cry is bundled up in the blanket as gently as the other men can manage. Mark already had an idea in his head to approach Ken within the next day or so. Just to check on him. Nothing too forward, but enough to let him know that he, along with everyone else, is there for him when he needs them.

The rest of the night is cold and darker than it has ever seemed I the past. Ethan whispers that it's because Cry isn't there anymore to help the darkness feel warmer and less scary. Pretty much everyone in the group agrees.

Ken didn't come back with them to the campground. Stating that he needs more time to just be alone, no one tries to convince him otherwise. Instead the other men take turns with occasionally checking in on him from afar during the rest of the night. Tyler takes the first watch. His dark blue eyes seeing the tall figure more into the shadows and sit in various places near Cry's body. Occasionally Tyler thinks that he can hear Ken saying something to Cry. If anything, Tyler understands this more than anything. Even now he still talks to Evan as well.

By the time daylight greets all of the tired faces, everyone has taken their turn to watch helplessly as Ken grieves. The last being Jack, who is able to talk the taller raven into help in moving Cry to a quiet place to rest. Ken already had a spot in mind, and with only Tyler being chosen to actually help with moving Cry, the small hillside where Cry and Ken made love last was the spot chosen. Of course, one Ken knew the real reason this particular area was picked.

Cry is buried with very little talking or fanfare. Each of them quiet in digging the grave and then Ken gently placing Cry inside. No one actually cries right then and there, but most of them know that they will very soon.

"I want to be the one to cover him up," Ken mutters, still not lifting his dark eyes from the hole his heart now lays in. "If that's okay with - "

"Course it's okay," Jack says quickly, then waves the others off with himself trailing behind. "Just let us know if you need anything, Ken. Please?"

Ken nods enough to let Jack feel all right with leaving him alone, and then once the other men are gone, Ken is able to finally scream. The scream is guttural and broken. The way his hands are shaking makes him realize that it will take forever to bury Cry, but he doesn't care. Even if he has to pick up each piece of dirt one grain at a time Ken knows that he will do it. Cry is worth it. Cry will always be worth it.

Scoop after scoop he moves the land, and it is only now that Ken realizes with  a fresh tear to his soul that it is very close to their anniversary. At least, maybe it is? It's been so long since they were able to properly know what day it was that the date might have already passed. Another reason why he hated this island, and hated Cry not being more -

He pauses, his hands trembling way too much to continue. The way he is inhaling has Ken knowing that he isn't getting enough oxygen in his lungs. He needs to breathe normally. He needs to keep surviving. The promise Cry made him give floating through his rattled mind and it burns like fire.

He needs to keep them all alive and together. He promised Cry, and no matter what, he would do his damnedest to keep that promise. No matter what he has to sacrifice.

No matter what.