Touched By You

"But I can't live in a 'what if' kind of world."

"Maybe you should talk to her." Camila suggested, watching her wife paint in the corner of her studio with a mug of coffee clutch between her hands. "I tried already, I cancelled a promo gig to stay and try to talk to her."

"Why would she talk to me?" Lauren scoffed, her eyes never leaving the canvas before her in fear that she would ruin the smile. She couldn't ruin the smile, it needed to be perfect. "Hansen is your friend."

"Our friend, don't revert back to that high school bullshit. You know we're all family."

Lauren sighed, sitting back because she knew she wasn't going to get much work done with Camila badgering her about Dinah's sudden disinterest in seeing anyone. And part of Lauren wanted to tell Dinah to fuck off because it seemed ridiculous of her to want to push everyone away when she'd always been the one to try getting everyone together. In all honesty, the green-eyed girl wanted just a single moment in her life that wasn't deemed problematic and Dinah Jane was proving she would never get that.

"What do you want me to say to her? 'Sorry your flirting buddy is dead, is there anything I can do?'" The older girl rolled her eyes. "Let her fucking do as she pleases, I like the quiet without her."

"You don't mean that."

"Actually, I think you'll find that I do," Lauren spun around in her chair and eyed her wife. "I married you, not your friends, so I'm not obligated to do shit for them."

"So that's what it's gonna be like again? You built those walls back up nice and sturdy, didn't you?"

"I'm trying to get on with my life, you wanted me to do that so I'm doing it. So is Vero. So are Mani and Ally, why does Dinah get to think she's the exception between all of us?"

"She's hurting!" The younger girl threw her hands up in exasperation.

"Look at these walls, Camila!" Lauren gestured to the countless portraits of the same girl littering her studio walls. "I'm hurting! I'm fucking hurting! Go see Vero, she still sleeps on the couch. Go see Ally, she's put her wedding plans on hold. Look in the fucking mirror, the bags under your eyes haven't been that deep since I was shot. We're all fucking hurting, Camila, but it's not my job to be Dinah fucking Jane's band-aid, understand?" She exhaled in dejection. "We're trying to move on, but it shouldn't fall on any one of us to fix the other."

"You're a far cry from the girl Lucy was proud of, Lauren." Camila sighed. "You know if it were her, she'd be there. She'd listen."

"I'm sorry I didn't die instead," Those green eyes were cold and hard. "Vero was right, Lucy was always the better choice for everyone."

Lauren spun back around to the portrait of a dead girl as Ally hesitantly pushed open the door to a darkened room. It would be her fourth attempt thus far but she'd yet to give up. The blonde sitting in the bed was far too important for her to give up.

And she understood, they'd lost a vital part of their family but there was no way she was going to let it tear through the little family they'd all become. No way.

So she peeked into the room and found Dinah on her laptop, the gleaming screen illuminating her face and showing Ally just how pale the younger girl had become.

"I told Normani I didn't want to see anyone anymore." Dinah didn't bother looking up from the screen.

"She's over at Vero's helping her move some things around. Apparently the place seems too suffocating for her." Ally explained, perching herself at the foot of the bed. "So I snuck in."

"I don't want you here, Ally."

"I want to be here."

"To convince me that we're all supposed to lean on each other? That we'll get through this but only together?" The younger girl rolled her eyes. "You have a wedding to plan, Ally, go move on with your life and leave me alone."