One would want to be famous and have a lavish lifestyle, wouldn't they? Namjoon has everything a person would want in their dream life. Yet he felt discontented, felt like he was a failure and the voices inside his head did not help about how he felt towards himself making the male's self-esteem go lower each passing day.
Every night he looks at his reflection in the mirror hoping that maybe that night he would not despise what he sees but the comments he read on twitter would always flow through his mind making the tears welled up in his eyes and few more red drawings being added to his canvas which were his thighs. Like that each night the leader found himself bawling his eyes out and be a sobbing mess but all the noises were drowned by the shower which was running. Like that Namjoon spends hours in the bathroom while his oblivious members slept the night away.
Namjoon was terrified of the world. He was aware of the fact that he was the invisible one, the most disliked member of the group and that nobody even likes to look at him. Yet he was under a microscope held by the paparazzi and the antis who were noting every step he made. It drives him crazy knowing that if he makes a small mistake he could ruin not just his but also his members' career.
He just wished that he did not have to live like this, he wished that he could love himself.
One morning, I opened my eyes
And wished I was dead
I want someone to kill me.
- Always
By RM
YOU ARE READING
Voices // Namjoon x BTS
FanfictionIn which members are oblivious to the fact that Namjoon is dying inside a little more each day. Started: 19/12/18 Ended: ? Trigger warning: self-harm self-hate mentions of suicide insomnia eating disorder little cursing
