My heart still wants you
Even after years pass, I still miss you
I still remember when we first saw each other
I still remember what you wore and how your hair looked
I pray for you every night and day
I hope that someday soon
I can see you once again
You’re still in my heart
Sungjae stares at the photo frame beside his bed. It is that time of the year again. The time where Sungjae feels nothing but heartache. He reaches the photo frame and runs his thumb over it. He hates himself for missing him so much. Sungjae grips the hem of his shirt and cried his heart out.
He hears a faint voice calling him outside. A familiar, cheery voice. As the voice got nearer, it fades and Sungjae soon realises it belonged to Changsub, not Eunkwang.
" Coming hyung. " Sungjae wipes his tear stricken face and opens the door.
---
Sungjae stepped into the van and sat beside Ilhoon. It was raining heavily and the sound of rain hitting concrete was somehow calming to his ears. He stared off into the distance, into his own world.
Ilhoon turned his head to look at Sungjae. He knew what day today was. As much as everyone is hurting, no one can compare the pain Sungjae felt. After all, Eunkwang was the closest to the maknae. His sudden departure was like a stab in the heart for Sungjae.
The manager turned on the radio and 'I Miss You' played. Everyone tensed up as Eunkwang's cover of the song boomed loudly in the car.
Sungjae had always loved his soothing voice. He remembered that Eunkwang would sing to him whenever he had nightmares. He longed for that voice to speak to him again.
He knew that was never gonna happen and it breaks him on the inside.
Sungjae smiles to himself bitterly, and looked outside the window.
Life is so unfair.
---
" Hyung? "
" Sungjae ah "
Sungjae sits beside the older man.
" Its cold out here, why aren't you back at the dorm? "
Eunkwang kicks the rocks playfully and ignored Sungjae's question.
" Sungjae, do you know what it feels like to live life? "
" Well, its happiness. To..to get to spend time with you and the others. For me, that's living life. "
" Really? What will you do when I'm not here in the future? " Eunkwang looked at Sungjae blankly.
" What? Why? Are you going somewhere hyung? " Sungjae asked innocently.
" Nah. I'm just curious..Well? "
" It would feel empty without you hyung. "
" Why? There's the other members. Ilhoon, Peniel...you can still be with them. "
" You're special hyung.. you make me feel.. at ease. Like everything's going to be alright and I like that. I don't know what I would do without you. "
Eunkwang smiles and embraces him in a hug tightly. Sungjae was taken aback but he still hugged him back.
What Sungjae didn't manage to catch was his hyung's tears flowing down his cheeks silently.
" Lets go back, tomorrow will be a long day. " Eunkwang breaks from the hug and stands up, looking away from him.
" Waeyo? We don't have any schedules tomorrow. " Sungjae asked confusedly.
