Mute(Jerrie)

7

Perrie's POV(Part 1)

"Mummy look!" I exclaimed excitedly,tugging at my mama's trousers.I was holding a note from my music teacher saying that I'm one of his best students and that I should take part in the next show which would have taken place the following day.

"Oh darling,I'm so proud of you!"She picked me up and kissed my little nose as I giggled uncontrollably.

"Can we go?"I asked with my adorable puppy eyes which she could've never refused.

She smiled and nodded,putting me down."Of course,I would never miss that."She assured me.

I smiled turning around on my foot when I bumped into my dad.I showed him the note and he smiled,petting my head."Well done!"

I had never felt so proud of myself before.

"We will all go to see Perrie performing tomorrow."My mum announced from the kitchen.My dad's expression saddened and he knelt down in front of me,shaking his head"I'm sorry Perrie but I'm taking Jonnie to a football game.I was hoping you and mum will join us but I guess we have to change the plans.Make sure mum records everything for us,okay?"He kissed my forehead as I nodded.At that age I had no idea what anger meant but I was for sure disappointed.I wished my entire family would see me perform but at least my mum was going to be there.Jonnie's game was also important.

The following day I experienced nervousness on a higher level than never before.It wasn't my first time performing on a stage,in front of many people but this time it was going to be bigger and my chance to be accepted in a music school.My teacher had told my mum all the details and she had tried to explain in a way that a 7 year old would understand.

"Okay honey,let's go."Mum zipped up my jacket and wrapped a scarf around my tiny neck.She locked the front door and helped me up in the backseat of the car.She made sure my seatbelt was keeping me safe then hopped up in the driver's seat,started the engine and left the house path.

"Are you nervous?"she asked looking in the mirror at me.I was playing with my fingers but managed to nod softly."It's okay to be nervous.But you will kill the show,I just know it."She smiled and so did I.For some reason I was feeling way better.

Minutes later I was singing along with my mum and the radio when I heard a loud horn and a pair of headlights almost blinded me.My mum screamed and pulled harshly the wheel to the right.I felt the car hitting something or turning upside down,I had no idea what was actually going on and soon my vision went blurry then everything turned blank.

I woke up in a hospital room,my whole body was kind of numb.My brother was standing next to the hospital bed,reading some comics book I believed.I groaned in pain when I tried to sit up and I felt all the perfusions connected to my arms.

"Hey,you're awake."He whispered,reaching for my hand.I nodded and looked around.None of my parents was in there and I panicked."Jonnie?Where are mummy and daddy?"

He took a deep breath and started shaking his head"You and mum had a car crash.She uhm...she isn't waking up.Dad is with her."He explained calmly,probably trying not to scare or worry me.

I stared blankly at him and I felt a few tears rolling down my cheeks"S-She will be okay,r-right?"I hiccuped.He grabbed my hand and sighed"I don't know sister..."I bit my bottom lip and let out a whimper"Jonnie-"He pulled me in a tight hug as I started crying.

A few years later my family was more than broken.It wasn't a family anymore.My father refused to believe I''m his child and my brother was mostly out with his friends,doing God knows what.

"It's your fault your mum is gone,you-"

"Stop!"I cried out in pain as I was taking all his kicks and slaps.The last few years had been like that.Whenever he got drunk or sad he remembered about mum and that horrible evening.He was blaming me for her death all the time and he would start beating me out of the blue,saying it was my punishment for being a murderer.

At first I fought but then I found it useless.Besides I started to believe that it was my fault for my mum's death too.If  it wasn't for me and that stupid show she would still be alive.

"Leave her alone!"Jonnie shouted,pulling my dad away from me and knocking him down.He helped me up and told me to go into my room.My brother never blamed me for anything,he was always by my side.I wished he was home more often so my dad would leave me alone but those days were gone.Now he had a gang and a girlfriend and would spend most nights and days away from what we once used to call 'home'.

One night father and I were having dinner and he was suspiciously quiet.I was already starting to make up theories in my head but being the fool I am in each one of them he was turning into a good person.Suddenly he got up and started cursing at me,blaming me again for something that had happened years before and wasn't my fault at all.I started tearing up as always and he got even madder as always.He grabbed a knife and pinned me to the wall.I was more scared than ever especially when he brought the knife closer to my face then to my arm,near my collar bone and traced a deep cut,leaving me screaming in pain.

He was about to slit my throat or stab me in the stomach when I stretched my arm out as far as I could,reached the cutlery and took a sharp knife out.As soon as I saw him raising his hand with the knife above me I struck him in the chest.He hissed in pain and dropped the knife,trying to cling on me but I pushed him and took a few steps forward just to make sure he won't get up and catch me.

My father opened his mouth to say something but eventually fell to the country before he could let any word escape his mouth.I was scared,I didn't mean to kill him,I was just defending myself.I decided to call the police and let them know what happened.

Because I was just a child instead of putting me behind bars they sent me to a mental hospital.I thought it would be as they picture it in films but this place is worse than hell would ever be.

I was labelled as a murderer and put in a room in section A which feels and looks exactly like prison.With time I earned my room in section C but they are keeping an eye on me.

Everyone thinks I'm mute but the truth is I stopped talking because I had no other choice.They threw me in a room all alone and locked the doors.Only the nurses would visit me from time to time to sedate me.They would also blame me for my parents' death and call me a murderer every now and then until I started hating myself.

"Perrie,be a good girl and stay still."Nurse Ruth said through gritted teeth.She was holding a syringe and approaching me as I was crawling to the corner of the room.I was shaking my head frantically and crying my eyes out."Stupid child,do as you are told,behave yourself!"She yelled grabbing my jaw and making me look straight into her cold eyes"Don't make me do it the hard way."She suggested stabbing me in the arm with the syringe,my eyelids fluttered shut.