The loud sound of my tears,
Colliding with my pillow,
Falling, with no hope
Just like me
The tears start to burn my face
The pain I feel is so crucial
Inside and out
There's no escaping it
I count the days
The days since the last time I cut myself
I update the number on my left wrist every day
Reminding me to not do it again
Because the pain is temporary
And, in the end, nothing will change
Everything will feel the same
The pain I'm trying to replace with a different kind,
Will still be there
More powerful than ever
It's been 18 days, as of today
I barely get by
I convince myself that self-harm isn't worth it,
Damaging my body for such stupid reasons,
But it's difficult
Because I still remember how it feels
The cutting
The joy I find within my blood oozing from my body
I feel so powerful
But in reality, it's the complete opposite
I've become so weak that it's my only option
And I will forever remain alone.
