I still haven't found him. The titanium dagger grows heavy in my hand as I stumble through the dark shadows of the night looking for him - the gargoyle. The gargoyle who terrorises human soles. The gargoyle whose only weakness is titanium. The officer badge sitting on the left side of my chest feels useless. I feel useless. One victim each day at midnight is murdered - and its all my fault. Its been thirteen days which means thirteen victims. You would think finding a gargoyle would be easy. Hair, the colour of obsidian, rough and rigid horns facing inwards sprouting from his head, gigantic wings and grey skin as rough as sandpaper. Yet after days of searching and searching, I have been unsuccessful.
You’re a worthless little man Blake
I shuddered "I know."
You're a useless cop. The gargoyle is going to get you next.
"Stop." I grit my teeth and ball my hands into fists by my sides until my knuckles turn white. My breathing becomes uneven and I can see the puffs of smoke coming out of my nose into the cold, piercing air. I checked my wrist watch. 9:37pm. Not long now, not long at all. The smell of garbage draws my attention as I walk along the pathway to a place in the city I haven't searched before. Sure enough, through the clearing, I see bins overflowed with rubbish in front of a rusty warehouse almost completely invisible within contrast of the night sky.
Yes Blake! It could be the gargoyle's lair. You might not be worthless after all.
"It seems familiar." I whisper.
The smell was unbearable. Like rotten eggs or a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in one hundred years. Almost off it's hinges, I shuffle quickly towards the door and walk into the pit of darkness waiting before me. Mirrors - mirrors everywhere reflecting enough light to see a ripped mattress in the corner and my reflection. Bags under eyes, ripped pants, cuts on arms and dagger in hand, I look tired and aged.
Welcome home Blake. Sleep here the night. The gargoyle might come back.
"No!"
Sleep Blake. Just take a nap for a while. A simple and harmless nap. It might wash me out. Do you want that Blake? Do you want me to go away from your useless mind? Stop me terrorising your thoughts?
"Yes." The mattress squeaks underneath me as I lay down but surprisingly it still seems comfortable. I close my eyes and let the darkness swallow me whole.
***
She runs away from me as fast as she can, but I am faster. Much faster. I grab her around the waist and clamp my hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. I tilt her neck to the side and raise my hand ready. Our eyes meet and I see a flash of emotions overwhelming her senses. Panic. I bring my hand back. Petrified. Her body relaxes under my arm as the realisation sinks in - this is it. Pain. I engage her throat in one quick motion and the sound of bone cracking and flesh tearing is as loud as an orchestra. My loving neighbour falls to the floor. Her body limp and motionless.
I jolt awake with my neighbour's screams still ringing in my ears and my heart plummeting against my chest. I get a fistful of my reflection in the numerous mirrors that I have grown to despise and see that I look worse than yesterday. Fantastic.
Get up you filthy piece of garbage. Look for him. Look for the gargoyle Blake.
Flashes of the dream over ride my thoughts "The guilt is eating away at me so bad, I feel like I need to peel my skin off my bones."
Maybe you should. You might feel the pain of those thirteen victims that have suffered the wrath of the gargoyle. Go!
I grab the titanium dagger I dropped last night, take one last look at my reflection and head out for the day's search. I think I will search the outskirts of the city this time, where the farmers grow all the crops. In other words, a happy place for an unhappy man.
Do you think you will find him today Mr worthless? At that pace you will never find him.
I rounded the corner overlooking fields and fields with a number of various vegetables growing tall with the help of the farmer's wives picking and prodding. However it wasn’t the healthy vegetables that stopped me in my tracks. A poster on a billboard sent my heart plummeting to the floor:
Rose McDonald was murdered last night at approximately twelve o'clock midnight. A tragic loss for daughter Kristina who says she was a loving mother and wife to her dad, Travis. Mrs McDonald was unfortunately another victim of the horrific gargoyle which makes her number fourteen. Police officers around the city are doing everything they can to find the gargoyle.
And below the writing was a picture of the victim. I looked at it closely and the face of my beloved neighbour stares back at me. "No, no, no!"
Yes, yes, yes! This is what happens when you're a lousy police officer.
"No."
What is wrong with you Blake? You’re a humiliating piece of trash.
"No."
You can't do anything right.
"NO."
You’re a failure.
"NO!" I can't do this anymore. I jerk back around and run down the narrow, narrow alleyway, so narrow that it feels like the walls are crushing me in - telling me to stay where I am.
You're a coward Blake. You cannot run away forever. You cannot turn you're back against the world.
I think I am crying now. I don’t care. I just run and keep on running. All I can think about is my neighbour's smiling face that one time she turned up on my doorstep carrying cookies. "Would you like a cookie Blake? She asked. "I made them fresh this morning." That day seem like eons ago, yet I remember it like someone you knew just committed suicide. You had such happy moments with that person back then, but now all the guilt is weighing you down so much that it feels like its you’re own fault they’re dead. I don’t feel guilty, I am guilty. I don’t feel ashamed, I am ashamed.
I reach the warehouse panting. I am still holding the titanium dagger.
You’re are a disappointment Blake. Nobody has ever cared for you.
"Stop. Please s-stop." I am inside the warehouse now with the mirrors watching my every move.
How did you even get hired? You’re a failure.
"I know. What can I do to make you disappear?" I drop the dagger and fall to my knees. My ears are ringing. I hear someone screaming coming from outside. I try to stop the noise by bringing my hands up to my ears.
I can never stop taunting you. What would I do for fun? Eenie meenie miney mo, whose the worst cop of them all? I know, you know, we all know who. Blake, It's you! It's you! It's you!
"STOP!" I yell. My head hits the ground with a loud thud and my hands find their way to my skull.
Eenie meenie miney mo, whose the worst cop of them all? I know, you know, we all know who. Blake, It's you! It's you! It's you!
The screaming I realise, wasn’t coming from outside at all. It was coming from me.
Eenie meenie miney mo, whose the worst cop of them all? I know, you know, we all know who. Blake, It's you! It's you! It's you!
It seems as though a spider has made itself at home because my spine tingles and my body aches. My screams ricochet off the mirrors penetrating through my skull leaving my thoughts disarrayed. Then finally, after what seems like hours everything stops. I don’t hear the ringing or the voices. I don’t even hear my own heartbeat. I cautiously remove my hands from my head and try to stand up. I stumble a few times and the world spins but I manage to see my reflection in the mirrors. Jet black hair, ferocious wings, horns facing inwards and a titanium dagger piercing my stomach to the hilt, is staring back at me.
You found him.
