An Obsession Gone Too Far

I'm Not Obsessed

Greg could recall a time when he and Shane Dawson were friends... it was over ten years ago when the two of them were still new to YouTube. Perhaps Greg had been a bit pushy when it came to being around Shane. Maybe he just hadn't taken Shane's feelings into account...maybe Shane had never really even liked him.

That thought made him angry.

Angry at Shane.

Angry at the world.

Years and years ago, Greg insisted that they hang out even when Shane wasn't in the best headspace. When Shane was suffering with his body image. When it was inconvenient for Shane. But Shane couldn't just say no because he wanted to be a good friend.

This started a chain reaction that caused the train wreck that Onision was today. That Greg was today.

Greg was stood up that day — for the second time. Did he bother asking Shane why? No. Did he bother to give Shane space or perhaps even time to explain himself? To try to understand as a friend? Of course not. His go to was the Internet. To YouTube. Where he'd complain about how bad a friend Shane was. How badly he had hurt him. How he had mangled his feelings.

By this time, Shane was becoming all too aware of Onisions unhealthy attachment to him. What happened somewhere in between was lost but we do know that Shane got away from Greg. That was a negative part of his life he didn't need any longer. Greg took this personally. He held onto it. A blind grudge he'd hold for years to come.

Shane Dawson didn't want to be my friend...Shane Dawson didn't want to be my friend. Shane Dawson didn't want to be my friend.

Shane Dawson was the one that got away.

He can hear those words swirling around in a chant in his mind as he stares at the man who stands before him; Shane Dawson. His own reflection, actually. Himself, Onision, dressed as Shane. People had always commented on how the two had similar facial features and in the right light, with the right wig, he could pull off the look.

"I'm not obsessed..." He mumbles, transfixed on his reflection. The room he stood in was dimly lit and pictures littered the walls. Pictures of Shane Dawson, his friends, his current boyfriend, his pets...and so on. Pictures Onision had collected over the years and stored away in this room. Greg's spouse, Lainey, was all too aware of this obsession but they said nothing. They pretended not to know and tried their best to give Greg his space when he needed it. When they thought he needed it, anyway.

You see, Greg was a very self-absorbed and selfish man. He was always right and he could do no wrong. No matter the situation, if he was being called out, he was the victim. At one point in his life Greg had openly claimed to be a sociopath. Whether or not that was just to be edgy at the time is yet to be known though people could speculate and based off of his actions throughout the years, it was an easy conclusion to draw. There was even a point in time where he had attempted to start a cult — but that was years ago so let's not get side-tracked.

Everyone knew by now that Greg was a pretty shitty person and that he refused to make any attempts to change himself for the better. It was almost as if he didn't know how.

"It should've been ME... that should be ME..." he grits through clenched teeth, furiously applying some heavy lipstick as Shane Dawson's most recent success dawns on him once again. It could've been him and he knew it. If he hadn't let that damn obsession run his life... if he hadn't spent his time envying the very man who went on to do better things with his life because Greg was had been so petty. Because Shane wouldn't allow a small conflict to put a hold on his life. If only he hadn't tainted his image with such hatred... perhaps he and Shane would still be friends.

Greg had practically fallen off the platform in this day and age and those who were still fans might as well have been brainwashed by him. He had had various controversies throughout the years. Serious ones and yet he still refused to acknowledge the truth. The reality that he was wrong. Shane had moved on with his life and didn't even bother to give Greg the time of day with his "call out" videos because it was all so childish and Shane knew it. Greg knew it. So why did he insist on grabbing for straws when it came to slandering Shane Dawson?

Perhaps in Greg's mind, he thought that if he kept it up that eventually Shane would have to respond. That he'd finally get that attention from the man he so desperately claimed to loathe. Even if that attention was negative, there would still be an interaction.

"I'm not obsessed...I'm not obsessed. I'm not obsessed." He repeats to himself for the tenth time that hour as he retreats to his recording room in order to search something on his computer.

He opens up another tab, separate from the others that contain images upon images and information about Shane Dawson's most recent endeavors, and types in "how to rebuild your life and public image after destroying it while chasing after revenge". There is but one result and it resides in Yahoo answers. Quickly, he clicks the link and his eyes go wide at what he sees. No...it couldn't be. His stomach drops and he begins to get shaky as the supposed answer to his problems stares back at him through the screen.

"Learn from your mistakes." It says.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO—!!!" Greg screams, dropping onto his knees and shaking his fists in the air. "IT'S. NOT. FAIR!" He yells. Lainey can hear him from the other room but they're busy taking care of the baby so they just let him get it out of his system. After all, it does happen often. What could they really do?

After crying for a good 20 minutes, Greg wipes his face as dry as he can get it before setting up his camera in preparation to record. "I've got some serious dirt on him this time..." he says to himself. "They'll hate him and then start to love me again." He chuckles to himself, that feeling of jealous madness washing over him once again.

He would never learn.