Through pain comes love

To the man that destroyed me

I watched as you brought her closer, watched as you kissed her lovingly, watched as you smiled so brightly it could rid the world of all darkness, watched as you whispered something that made her smile.

I stood and silently let my heartbreak because I knew you would be happier with her.

I never did tell you my feelings, no matter what she did I always encouraged you because she was the love of your life, It didn't matter that my heart shattered with encouraging word because you was for once happy and I was ok with slowly closing my heart of as long as you were ok.

When she broke up with you for your brother I sat with you for weeks comforting you, I never made a move or said a word because I knew it wasn't the time.

Months later when you were finally over her I finally confessed and you apologised because you didn't feel the same way, that was the day I knew I'd never be able to love anyone again, that day my heart broke for final time and no one would ever be able to put it back together.

Eventually you started to treat me like your best friend again and you told me you got back together with Elena again. I hated both of you so much at that moment. I wouldn't ever hurt you like her but that never mattered to you, all you cared about was her.

After that day I left and never came back, i moved on, I cared for her but I never loved her like I loved you, then like everyone else she died.

You never tried to find me and I hated you even more for that, after everything we went through and you didn't care i wasn't there.

And then for 5 years I was kept captive, I had so much time to think and I realised that you'd never want me, you'd never love me, you would never care.

My family rescued me and I realised that you no longer matter, you did the unthinkable and destroyed my heart, but my daughter healed it, I would never love anyone like you but that doesn't matter anymore.

I may never be in love again but I have my family and that's all that matters, I wish I figured that out before you broke me, I wish I fell in love with someone who loved me back, but it's too late now.

I'm not sure if my heart will ever be able to love again but I know I no longer love you, no matter what I do I will never forget you but I will move on.

I no longer love you and you don't care anyway but that doesn't bother me.

When I think about you it isn't with love or hate, it isn't fond or annoyed, but it's just a memory, it means nothing to me anymore.