The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 34- Relief&Dreams&Repeat

Arriving home, I didn't care about anything but the safety of my room. I cried silently into the only stuffed animal I have-- A blue unicorn, with a name tag 'Allie'. Allie sat on my bed everyday patiently for my arrival for a warm embrace from me, but today, that embrace lasted hours, I have so many regrets, I should have stayed with him. I heard my name being called from the other room. I got up slowly, wincing quickly at the pain that struck up my arm from the pressure I put on it, I whipped off my face from any tears or hand marks, and opened my door to my mum standing there.

     "Come look, the news, come--" She said, but she seemed happy.

     "Okay, okay, okay, mum, got it, I'm coming." I said, pushing past her and into the tv room, where my dad and brother were standing with there eyes glued to the tv. It was the evening news, and the news reporter ranted on the fire today. Suddenly my eyes were glued to the tv too. All that showed was a woman in a suit standing in front of the remainders of the church. Burnt down. I winced again, but not at my arm, but the memory of the fire.

     I closed my eyes for a second until I heard, 'It must be a miracle that everyone survived.' The news reporter stated, 'One teenage individual was put into intensive care for 3rd-degree burns, earlier today after being rescued at the last minute, no word yet in his condition yet--' I didn't hear the rest, but it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my back, but a new one was put on. I refused to go back to the hospital anytime soon, but I wanted to see him, and say sorry before its too late. Not today though, its late anyways.

     It took me awhile to get to sleep, but my eyes were heavy...

*****

1st person dream

*****

     The scenery was in a house-- a house I didn't recognize, there was a man sitting on the couch in front of me, with two little kids. Everything was peaceful, sunbeams stretching across the wooden floor, to picture of us four on the wall, smiling. The children looked up at me like I was someone very special to them-- There eyes gleamed with excitement, one little boy with dark brown hair and eyes that could light up the room, he was the happiest between the two, the little girl with light blonde hair, sitting there, smiling with her legs crossed in her pink little silk dress. Her mouth was spread ear to ear, but her eyes looked sad. They both looked the same age-- around 7?

     I was startled after I felt a tug around my waist; I looked down at the little boy hugging me tightly, like he never wanted to let go. I looked up at that man smiling down at him, and at the little girl who looked a little jealous. "Thank you mommy." The little boy said; his voice was cute.

     "For what, hunny?" I replied.

     "For being the best mommy ever!" He said, cheerful. I felt on top of the world, smiling.

     "Did you meet every mommy in the world?" I asked, kneeling down to his height.

     "I don't need to!" He said, smiling, "You are my world!" I started to tear up, tears of happiness, it felt good, and even better when I picked him up in my arms and held him close. I opened my eyes, to see the little girl crying silently.

     "Mommy?" She whispered through her tears. I put the little boy down, and asked her what’s wrong, "Don't you remember mommy? I'm sick. And you love Billy more." she cried louder now, that man picked her up in his arms, and walked out of the room. My tears of happiness turned into tears of sorrow, i didn't know what was happened, but it felt so real. the Little boys eyes still was filled with joy, but his sisters weren't. All i wanted to say was, 'Don't worry, mommy's here.' But i wasn't able to talk, i opened my mouth, but no sound came out, i panicked, and the boy ran out of the room.

     "Daddy, Mommy isn't talking!" the boy yelled out-- There that man was again, standing before me.

     "Again?" He asked.

     Before anything else, I awoke--

*****

     Sitting up in bed, scanning over the dream over and over again. Am I happy or sad right now? Was life always this confusing? I got up and out of bed, setting Allie down nicely, and went into the kitchen for some water-- Forgetting why i went into the kitchen, i stood there staring into space until a cool rush of wind came through the open window, i wasn't wearing much clothes, but i hugged myself for a little warmth, i still stood there, holding onto my shoulder blades, not doing much, just breathing. I closed my eyes, and things started to feel real again.

     Standing there, yet dozing off, I felt arms around me, tight, but in a vague dream, standing right where i was, I looked up and saw HIS face.

But i opened my eyes again, and I was alone. What’s happening?