Stay *BTSxMaleOC*

9 - Reliving the Past

"When I got here I thought it was best to hide everything from my past and make a new start like most people would. I met Jimin I think a few days into my stay here. It was a purposeful meeting, the one to cause it was me. I thought he looked lonely, so I wanted to meet him and cheer him up. About maybe two weeks ago he and I had a fight, he found out what my birth name was, thanks to Jamie. It wasn't his fault though, it wasn't any ones. To be honest no, he and I don't know each other. If i'm truly being honest, the quicker he gets out of this place, the quicker he'll get better." I say, telling Jin what I know to be.

Jin is quiet, taking in all I have said. Then, finally, he speaks.

"You know why he's in here right?" I nod answering his question.

"Then you know he'll be in here for a while longer. And after what happened, he's going to stay longer. So if you stay his friend for his time in here, until he can recover and get out. Then I think he'll be grateful." Jin tells me.

"In the time I've known Jimin, he's a really friendly guy. I think from what I've seen, you are too. I think you guys are perfect together." Jin says looking at Jimin's sleeping form.

I think for a moment, looking at the floor instead of Jimin or Jin. For some reason my heart felt heavy, but it was telling me I could trust Jin. I looked up to Jimin. I watched his slow breathing, the oxygen mask fog up with every breath he takes. With no other thought in my head, I went for it, and started speaking.

"When I was young my mother tried to kill herself multiple times." I start, thinking back to the first time she did it.

"She got so bad, she never tried to kill herself any other way except drug overdose. And every time after she didn't succeed, she acted like nothing happened. Two years of me worrying when she'll finally succeed and one night she did. I watched her lay in a hospital bed die from her own hand. I never understood the reason, so I blamed myself. I told myself it was because I was a horrible child, a monster. I never did anything bad to myself though, no, I didn't have to." I took a shaky breath thinking about my father.

"My father took care of all that on his own. Treating me as a slave, starving me from the time I was five years old. You would think that this was bad, but I would have much rather stayed with him for the rest of my years.  My father rarely ever talked to me, and in some ways I should have been grateful, the only times I was spoken to were to be given directions or was yelled at. Even then Father didn't do much. He rarely ever hit me. Around the time I was eight he started acting weird. He fed me more, I gained weight. I thought he was forgiving me, I was so very wrong." I swallow thinking about the first time I met Sr.

"One day a strange man came to the house, I did what I normally did when Father had guests. I brought them drinks and then I stayed out of sight. I didn't dare listen to their conversation, I knew my punishment if I did and I didn't want to risk it. A few days passed and father randomly walked into my room and started shoving my clothes in a suitcase and backpack. I didn't have many clothes so it wasn't hard. About an hour after the man from before came back to our apartment. My father gave him my stuff and the man handed my father a giant wad of cash. I didn't know what had happened until that night." I glance at Jin.

He looks at me with wide eyes.

I start to speak, but few things come out, fear running through me.

"I had never seen pictures of myself before that night. The man told me to call him Sr. in the formal way. He had sat me at the dinning table and smacked down pictures my father had taken of me a week before onto the table. He explained to me what happened and that my father sold me to him. He told me I was lucky. To a child lucky could mean anything, and for me it meant everything. It meant that I had been taken out of a bad situation and put into a good one. And for the first two years, I prayed for all the good things that happened, to never end."

I swallow harshly, the pictures in my mind burning into my soul. Before I could tell anymore of my story Jin spoke up.

"Is that why Jamie told me to be careful with you? Are you afraid of men? Because of all that happened to you?" He started asking.

I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes.

"That's not even the half of it. I.. I was very badly, abused. I'm twenty-one now, and it started when I was ten." I tell him, looking up I finally connect eye contact with him.

The tears drip out of my eyes and down my cheeks slowly. I can't keep my head up anymore, I drop it and hold it in my hands.

"I'm not scared of all men. Just, there's ones I don't trust. Like that friend of Jimin's, Jungkook I think his name was. I don't trust him." I say.

"Jungkook is my friend. But if you are saying that then he said something to you didn't he?" Jin starts getting motherly.

I look at the floor, the thought of his motherly self made me want to laugh but nothing came out. Instead in the minute of silence we heard a noise. The noise of breathing, a heavy inhale. We both looked to Jimin, he had sat up quickly and was looking at both Jin and I. Though he avoided eye contact with me more than anything.

Before either of the other two could say anything I jumped out of my seat and got a sudden rush of anger.

"You idiot, what the hell did you do that for?! Do you know how worried everyone is? I came back, just to see you're heart monitor going nuts!" I yell, upset at what Jimin had done.

I wipe my face, the tears that had fallen once before not falling now.