What if I told him I adored every inch of him and his personality
That he was my motivation to get up every morning just so Ic ould make it to the end of the week so i could see him
That I cried myself to sleep for weeks after we were done
That seeing him with all these other girls made my heart break but seeing him happy was also very important to me
That after a while everything seemed masochistic
To check and make sure he was doing well at random times
What if I told him he was my medicine that his laugh was my penicillin, his smile was my oxygen, and his presence was my security
What if i told him after we ended I lost hope in love and found comfort in solitude
that loving him took so much that I lost myself and became afraid of love
Afraid of commitment like it was a flame and me a moth
What if I told him that I still think of him
I still share stories of our time together
That i reminisce and smile on our memories as if it happened yesterday
What if i told him that all of this was not for me to get back my first love but my best friend
The guy that was there for me at my lowest and my highest
My rock, who kept me sane and gave me light when it was dark
What if i told him I needed him now...
Would it matter
Would he care or just shrug it off
I guess we'll never know
