Endless

28 Days Before

28 DAYS BEFORE

 Why am i so nervous? This is ridiculous it's just Elliot, we have been to dinner plenty of times before. So why do i have butterflies in my stomach? Why am i all of sudden worried about how i look around him? Liv snap out of it, he doesn't look at you like that. He has a wife and 5 children stop being stupid, this is not a date, it is just two people, former best friends, having a conversation about the last 7 years. Nothing more, nothing less.

It's 6:45pm and i am standing in my bedroom looking at my reflection in the mirror trying not to pick out every flaw i see. I suddenly feel old and i feel like it shows in my face and my body. I'm a confident woman who has never really been self-concious but all of a sudden its like tonight i have every single insecure thought hit me all at once.

*        *        *

I have been sitting outside her apartment building for the past 30 minutes. I said i would pick her up at 7pm, it is currently 6:47pm. I have been nervous and excited all day, I just can't wait to just sit down, stare into her chocolate brown eyes and let her voice wash over me in waves. I sigh and lean back in the drivers seat and stare at the celing for what seems like hours.

6:48pm. 1 slow minute since i last looked at the clock, i sit there fixed on the glowing red numbers on my dash, willing them to fast forward.
6:49pm. Good enough, i push open my door and practially jump from the car almost getting side swiped at the same time by a passing SUV. I slam the car door and lock it and practically run across the road to her building. Standing at her door my nerves take over and i can't even bring myself to ring up to get her to buzz me in.

I stand staring at the building door trying to make my arm work. 'Just push it, it's just Liv, push the dang buzzer', i finally manage to communicate with my arms, when the door buzzes open and Liv's voice filters out over the intercom.
"Hurry up El or would you rather stand out there all night?" I smile and step inside her building closing the door behind me. A part of me wanted to take a step backwards to look up and see her watching me from her window, but i decided against. I call the elevator but after about 2 seconds i am too anxious and instead opt to take the stairs. Two at a time.

I stand outside her apartment door just staring at it, i wonder if she is looking at me through the peephole waiting for me to knock. I smile at the thought, that's not Liv, this night won't even bother her the way it is bothering me. I knock and hear her scurry around inside her apartment making her way towards the door, "one minute El," she yells. I chuckle before the door opens in front of me and all the air in my lungs is removed. My heart stops, my eyes widen, my mouth goes dry and i can't breathe or speak.

She is standing in front of me in a figure hugging knee length black dress with long sleeves and a plunging neckline that stops at her waist. Her hair is swept up in a beautiful side bun with a few curly strands framing her face. Her make up is natural and minimal apart from her deep red kissable lips. A shy smile forms on her face as she brings her hands up to put in her earring. "Come in El, i just have to put my shoes on and grab my purse and then we can go." She pushes against the door with her back, leaving a clear path for me to walk into her apartment. With her movement i notice the necklace that sits neatly in the middle of her chest. It's my necklace, the Semper Fi. I want to reach out and grab it, but i feel that would be inappropriate.

*        *        *

He's starring at my chest and i don't know what to do. It's making me all warm and fuzzy inside, but i just can't let him know. Do something Liv, before you jump him.
"El would you like a beer or something?" I say as i move towards the kitchen, his eyes jump up to my face as he just shakes his head no. Apparently the man can't speak now. This is going to be a short dinner if i have to do all the talking.
"Okay."