NO ANGEL ★彡 S. MENDES

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄.

shawn peter raul mendes.

shawn sat cross-legged on the floor, trying to balance his thoughts. sitting in front of him was a beautiful woman that was still very much in love with him after he had broken her down into nothing, and through his phone which was on the floor next to him was the beautiful woman he was infatuated with, just a phone call away. what would he do? he had no idea, so he just replayed the conversation he just had in his head as camila sat patiently before him

"wait, so after six months of us being broken up, you're still trying to accept the fact that we're not together?" shawn asked camila.

"yes," she shamefully nodded, "when you've been in love with someone since you were seventeen, it's hard to grasp the fact that you can't have them after you had them to yourself for two years. i know i know. i sound selfish and-"

"no,  no, no. i get it, to a certain point. i just can't understand fully because i've never been in love-" shawn stopped himself as soon as he said that.

"what about your girlfriend? you two look like you're in love, and very deeply if i might add," camila said, jealousy subtly lacing her voice.

shawn said nothing but stared at his hands instead. he had absolutely no idea of what to do or say so he thought about eleanor, and just the very thought of her face was enough to make shawn gently smile. camila however, frowned at shawn and gulped, "you love her, don't you?"

"what?" shawn was snapped out of his daydream at her words.

"you're in love," camila sadly smiled at him, trying not to burst out into tears at the fact that shawn was finally in love... but it wasn't with her.

"and how do you know?" shawn asked rather defensively.

"because at the mention of... eleanor... you smiled to yourself. but not just any smile, the smile you use when you talk about something you're passionate about - like music or your family. it's a smile you never used for me. but i know this because that's how i felt about you. just the very mention of your name is enough to send butterflies through my stomach. it has for years and i'm sure it will be like that for many more," camila admitted somewhat embarrassed.

"i'm sorry you had to feel like that," shawn said, glancing up to look at camila.

"don't be."

"anyway, about eleanor. uh," shawn struggled to find his words, and then something utterly stupid came to his mind, "i don't love her."

camila's expression changed to one of confusion and furrowed her thick eyebrows. "what do you mean you don't love her? you two seem like you're head over heels for each other? and remember when you broke up with me? you said that it's not worth being in a relationship if you don't think that there's a possibility of you actually loving someone-"

shawn interrupted camila before she was got too heated, "stop, listen. she's uh- how do i say this?" shaw awkwardly chuckled, "eleanor, she's not my girlfriend. not my 'real' girlfriend anyway."

"wait, what?" camila asked, not sure if what she was hearing was true, "she's not your 'real' girlfriend? what does that even mean-"

camila stopped and then the realisation washed over her, "oh! oh, oh, that makes sense - i mean i'm sorry."

"don't be," shawn stopped and thought for a moment.

he was already an asshole, and he knew that - and he hated himself for it. and along with that, he was only a human that wanted some relief for his broken heart and it might help camila with her various shawn related issues. in the end, everyone was a winner - right?

"breaking up with you, uh, once you were gone from my life it was weird," shawn started again, "i felt different, but not a good different. i never realised how good i had it until you were gone. and you know how they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? um, i guess being away from you for so long and knowing that you weren't my girlfriend, it made me love you a little. and every day that passes makes me fall a little more in love with you."

camila's face was one of shock as she couldn't quite believe what was happening. she had dreamed of this happening, but never did she ever think that it would come true - it seemed impossible - but here it was, happening right in front of her.

so shawn went on, "i see you everywhere. your songs are always on the radio, your face is always on my mind, and your voice is always in my head and it's always telling me - no screaming at me about how much of an idiot i was for letting you go! how could a guy do that? have a girl that is perfect, like actually perfect! and then break up with her because he doesn't know shit."

and so shawn went on, and on, and on confessing his feeling to camila but little did she know those feelings were not for her, but for another, and shawn continued to hate himself with every word that he spoke.

"so i guess, what i'm trying to say is," shawn blushed and smiled, "is that i love you camila, i'm so sorry for the hurt i caused you, and i want to get back together with you."

camila stared at him, but her face broke out into the brightest smile. she deserved this, didn't she? "yes shawn, i fucking love you and yes, i'll get back together with you."

a/n - merry christmas (or boxing day i guess)! i don't actually celebrate christmas so i was just trying to finish off all of my homework yesterday haha. also i would just like a moment to say that i fucking hate all of my characters? they're? all? so? damn? stupid? anyway, stream expectations by lauren jauregui for clear skin and good grades. vote and comment if you enjoyed <3