A/N: I've been struggling with everything else. A good idea just isn't working out for me right now. I promise that I will finish it. I totally promise that whatever it takes I will not leave it incomplete but for now I'm putting it on a break. I won't say a hiatus because who knows, I might update it in a few days time but it is definitely a break. Hidden will be on a hiatus. I know where it's ending up but I have a lot of decisions left to make about how to get there.
In the mean time it would be great if you could give me some feedback on this. If people are interested it's something I'd like to write. For now it's just my attempt to alleviate writer's block but it could turn out to be something special.
'So we need a girl is basically what they're saying.' This is stupid. I've known Mitch and Scott for years and we spent the whole of last year with Kevin in our group. We're good enough just the four of us but in order to enter the competition we apparently need at least five people. I know most acappella groups have way more than that but we have everything we could want in the four of us. 'It seems to be yeah. It's going to be hard to find someone who fits. We've had this for a year now and they'll only have a few weeks.' Thank goodness Kevin's being practical. 'I don't know. It might be good for us. Could give us a wider appeal.' I'm unwilling to admit that Scott might have a point. 'Loads of the groups are all male groups. The only reason we'd need a girl is if we were struggling with high notes and Mitch has that covered.' I'm trying to keep the frustration out of my voice but it's difficult.
'Actually Avi it would be good to have a soprano or a mezzo soprano. I can reach some of the notes but it would be good to have someone whose high notes are a bit stronger than mine. A third part in our harmonies could sound really good.' Kevin's nodding now. 'Mitch's right. We have to get someone else. We may as well make it someone useful.' I exhale dramatically. I'm not going to win this argument. 'Fine. We'll do auditions. There are a few people who could be alright.' 'You mean there are some girls who you think are hot and want to spend more time with?' Scott's grinning, far more cheerful now he knows we're not falling out anymore. 'Shut up Scott.' 'Ok Avi but promise that if Ella shows up you won't pick her just so you have an opportunity to sleep with her.' Mitch smirks and Kevin chuckles. I was right. This is not a good idea.
Auditions so far have been underwhelming. Pretty much everyone can sing, with the exception of a couple of freshmen girls. Why did Scott insist on making it open to the whole of the female population of USC? We've asked for some performing experience which means that at least one of us has known almost every person who's showed up so far. The problem is that no one has been particularly impressive. I'm totally refusing to consider anyone who's anything less than exceptional and although the others are being a bit more open they're still not overly impressed. We're nearly done and while we've shortlisted a few people there's a general agreement that unless someone really good is in the final four people then we're going to have to rethink this whole thing.
When Ella walks on stage things start looking up. She's been attached to various groups but she hasn't ever particularly settled. I think she's the last person and I'm glad, not just because that means it'll be over but because I'm certain anyone who performed after her would suffer by comparison. She's widely known to be one of the most talented and most attractive female singers at USC and as she tosses her long light-brown hair over her shoulder it's easy to see where the second part of that comes from. 'How much are you willing to bet that when we ask her why she's auditioning it'll be something to do with wanting more attention.' 'Be quiet Scott.' He just smirks 'sorry. I forgot you were infatuated with her.' I glare at him and turn to face her 'when you're ready.' I accompany this with my most charming smile and she smiles back confidently.
'So why did you decide to audition?' She tosses her hair again and I'm semi-transfixed. She sang a Bruno Mars song and it was as good as I expected. 'Well I thought it would be a good chance to get more recognition and not have to share the spotlight so much.' Scott splutters and Mitch pats him on the back, trying to disguise his giggle as a cough. 'At least she's honest.' Kevin mutters under his breath, earning more spluttering from Scott and a glare from me. 'Thanks Ella. We'll get back to you when we've made our decision.' She nods and walks off stage. 'I know she was good but do we have to? She's only here because this is the closest thing to performing on her own.' Mitch nods. 'Yep. She just wants to be centre stage. Can you really see her being happy to share solos?' Kevin shakes his head. 'She's the best person we've had today. What do you think Avi?' I'm just about to answer him when someone jogs onto the stage.
'I'm so sorry I'm a bit late, I was in a lecture. Am I still ok to audition?' We turn to look at her curiously. She looks nervous and slightly uncomfortable. She has dark, straight hair and huge brown eyes that barely make contact with any of ours. 'Really? We tried to pick a time when there weren't too many lectures.' Kevin looks concerned, like he feels sorry for her. 'I do English.' Her voice is soft and Mitch and Scott watch her with an annoying amount of interest. 'Well we've already come to a decision so you're too late. Sorry.' She nods and moves to walk away but Mitch speaks before she can. 'Wait. We haven't made a final decision and you're not really late. You should sing.' 'Yeah. You've made the effort, it's only fair.' I turn to Scott. 'Really?' He shrugs. 'I want to hear the voice that made an English major who's obviously insanely shy confident enough to audition.' 'Have you had much performance experience?' 'Yeah I was in choir all through school.' Kevin smiles 'ok, that's good enough for me. When you're ready.' She takes a couple of deep breaths and steps forward. When she looks up, something's different. She doesn't look scared any more.
'It's her come on Avi, she was amazing.' 'Plus when we asked her why she auditioned she started talking about our style and what we're doing for college acappella. She knows exactly what we're looking for. She is exactly what we're looking for.' Mitch and Scott have barely stopped talking about Kirstie since she left the room yesterday. I had to admit that they were right. Her voice was beautiful and she seemed more than happy with the idea of being part of a group like ours. 'She was the last person to audition and she almost didn't make it in time. It's like fate.' Unless Kevin backs me up then my chance of getting Ella into the group is essentially non-existent. 'Kevin?' 'They're right. We were looking for exceptional and we found it. She's perfect for us.' I'm getting pretty tired of losing all of these arguments. 'Fine.'
'Yes mom of course I'm working as hard as I can.' 'Are you sure Kirstin? If you get anything less than an A I won't be pleased. I've worked very hard to get you here and give you this opportunity.' I rub my eyes with my free hand and suppress a groan. There's no way I can tell her about pentatonix. I barely got away with choir in school. I'd be in huge trouble if she knew that I'd auditioned for an acappella group. I doubt it would make a difference that I got in. 'Yes mom. I know and I'm so grateful. I'm just about to start rereading pride and prejudice for an essay actually.' It's not as if English was my last choice it's just that it definitely wasn't my first. I love music. Singing on stage is the only time I feel like me. I would give anything to be studying musical theatre or popular music like Scott. None of that matters to my mother though.
'Good girl Kirstin. Make sure you keep on working, I'll speak to you soon.' She hangs up and I lie back on my bed. My roommate is hardly ever in and I'm glad that this is another phone call she missed. That and the one where Scott had told me that they'd chosen me. It had been hard to contain my excitement even as Scott had warned me that Avi had been reluctant to have me in the group. I wasn't surprised by that. I was just stunned that the others had thought I was worth putting up a fight for. I know my range is pretty good and my choir director always told me I had a nice voice but I figured I wouldn't be anything special here. The music programs here are legendary and I'm not even a music major. Apparently Avi would have preferred a girl called Ella who he had a crush on. For some reason Scott and Mitch felt the need to tell me that not only was I a better singer than her but I was also way prettier. It's sweet that they've been so friendly so quickly. I've never had a lot of friends but now I feel like I've gained at least two more.
'Ok so do you have your part sorted.' 'I think so.' I arranged to meet up with Scott and Mitch before our first group practice. I didn't want to tell anyone but I was feeling kind of nervous about it. Mitch and Scott seemed pretty enthusiastic about having me in the group but Kevin wasn't as thrilled and I'm fairly certain Avi was completely against it. 'Shall we try it from the top then?' I take a breath in and then we start. Our voices harmonise perfectly and I feel myself smiling. 'Oh my god that sounds so good! This is perfect.' He grins and holds out his arms and I leap into them, laughing as he spins me around. When he puts me down Mitch pulls me into a hug straight away. 'Now we've got you we can totally do this.' It's nice to feel like this. To feel like I matter. To feel like someone wants me for me and not some idea they have of what I should be. I really hope it lasts.
