Wasted || Liam Payne

Chapter 18

Sydney 

After dropping Brittney off at her house, I rush home to change into work clothes, smiling with pride as I nicely fold Liam's clothes on top of my dresser. At least I have a conciliation prize. A personal momento of the girl who said 'no' to Liam Payne. Brittney may have blurred memories of a one night stand, but I have countless pictures and a pair of boxers.  

I realize how crazy I would sound if people could hear my thoughts as I continue to contemplate my possibilities. I could sell them online, pay off my car with the money. All I would have to do is prove that I'm the girl that was seen with him all weekend and people would believe they were his. Realistically though, I knew they would end up folded in my drawer, or a pretty shoe box and I would save them forever the same way I would a concert ticket or an ex's sweater.  

The traffic on the way to work wasn't as bad today and I suspect it has to do with the fact that I'm running later than usual. I can't help but feel a pit of emptiness now that I've taken some time to relax this morning. Rushing to get Brittney home and then get myself ready for work occupied my mind, but now that I'm alone in my car headed back to my normal life, I find my mind wandering back to the weekend. Countless time's I've spent day dreaming about riding in a car with Liam Payne, listening to music and chatting, only to have that dream come true, and then taken away before I was able to fully appreciate it.  

Maybe I was a bit of a bitch to him this morning, but, it's the only way I know how to protect myself. The moment I start to fear that someone is going to hurt me, I take their power away, and hurt them first. They can't hurt me if I don't care, and that's what I've decided to do. Not care about Liam Payne. My heart wasn't really on board with this plan yet, but if I tell myself I don't care enough times, eventually it will start to listen. 

For a while we pretended 

That we never had to end it 

But we knew we'd have to say goodbye 

You were crying at the airport 

When they finally closed the plane door 

I reach across the car and turn the radio down, not wanting to listen to the worlds idea of a cruel joke. I finish my ride to work in silence, trying, but failing, to clear my head. 

Sitting at my desk trying to catch up on the built up work from taking Thursday and Friday off, I begin to feel out of place. The mundane life has continued to go on as normal, while everything within me has changed. Coffee runs and cubical chatter seems so, well, boring. I spent the weekend living the life of a celebrity, actually, probably more like the life of a groupie (minus the obvious perks) and now here I am editing punctuation and trying to ignore my coworkers missed shirt button. I've had a taste of how exciting life could be, and now the life of a normal responsible adult no longer interests me. I'm not a fame whore or a gold digger, but I've suddenly developed an irrational desire to attend premiers rather than seek promotions.  

Pop! 

I quickly grab my phone, turning the volume down and apologizing to my coworkers who seem disturbed by the tiniest amount of sound. I don't give them dirty looks when they decide to play jazz music in the middle of the day, but, when I see it's from Niall I forget all about my passive aggressive thoughts and click the message. 

"Is everything okay?"

Oh! I never responded to his text this morning.  

"Yes, every things fine! Sorry I've been at work all morning. It's so boring :( "