Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 3: Burning

Everyone moved on with their lives after Cas's death. It was like it never happened. Like he never existed. But I know he did. Because he was my best friend. He was Caspian. I remember when we were kids, how we were climbing a tree in his parent's garden. And even worse, I remember how we both fell out of that tree and broke our arms. We couldn't sign each others casts so we made a deal that whoever got the least amount of names would have to do what the other said. Good times. And I remember signing up for the army. How when we were younger, we wanted to be footballers, but as soon as we reached 16 we were desperate. Cas almost didn't get in, they said he looked too young, so I improvised and said we were twins, both 19. Thinking about it now, that was the worst decision I've ever made.

I remember the first time I had a drink. It was in the Charleston Street Bar and from then on, I haven't stopped. Almost every night I'd go down from my flat and have a few drinks, by the end of the night I was always hammered and stumbled back up to my room. I'd fall asleep in the most random of places and until the morning I was flat out. And the next night and the night after that and then the next and the next, I'd do it all again. It had become a routine. And as sad as it was, I didn't have time to visit my Mother or my Sister anymore. The impact all this had on me was awful, I could barely sleep. I didn't eat much and I barely ever got out the of the building. I guess every so often I had to go grocery shopping, but within 15 minutes I was back in my home doing nothing. For years...

Flames immerse the building where my flat tops my regular bar. It's horrendous. The smell of smoke is so strong that it diffuses through the air like a broken firecracker. The once old but gorgeous building falls apart, something I couldn't have dreamed of in years. Alarmed, I run into the blazing building, thick black smoke clouding my vision. As I drop to the floor, I start to crawl swiftly across the ashy ground of the bar. I make it to the stairs and ignore the cries of shock from the outside world. I have to focus. I make it up the stairs, being careful not to fall. Once I reach the flat, I dash to the back  where my room was. Rummaging around, I find the old photo album I've always kept, despite my vision being blurred. From the street I hear endless yelling, some shouting my name and some begging for me to get out of the flat.

And then I heard her voice. It was so sweet, and it was sobbing gently, begging for me to come out. Amira. I ran through the flat and down the stairs, battling against the fumes. Before I could reach the door, I saw the fire. It was the biggest I had ever seen. And unfortunately, it was blocking me from the outside world. Crap! In merely seconds, I raced towards it, barging the door of it's hinges and plummeting to the hard, cold pavement. That hurt.

Straight away, I'm pulled into a hug by a crying girl. Wait, that's just Amira. Amira! "What were you thinking!" she lectures sternly. She was scary like this. I held up the photo album I clutched tight until my arms quickly went limp by my side. As she starts to panic, I reassure her "I'm fine Amira! See?" I say coughing up some smoke I had inhaled. Well that's convincing, hmm? "No you're not, come on." she replies, and I feel my sister help her lift up my weak body, and place me onto the back seat. When the car door shuts behind me, I sit up to see my flat collapsing into the bar. My home had been destroyed. Then, the car door behind me opens up and in hops Nadya, her tear stained faced looking directly at me. "It's going to be okay." she whispers as the car starts and speeds off, leaving the past behind us.

The next few days I spent on bed rest. My body was recovering from the extent of the smoke. Throughout this time, my mother and Nadya came to visit me, bringing me all sorts of treats and water. But not once did Amira talk to me. What did she think of me? Was I just another asshole to her? Was she even till here? Not long after my thoughts take over my mind. I hear arguing. It's more like silly squabbles. Regardless, I leave my room and watch from the balcony as Amira continues to complain to my sister. 

Listening in, I hear the conversation. "I really don't like him Nads! He's so controlling."

"Yes I understand that, but it's just who he is. He's been through so much."

"But who does that! Really? Who runs back into a flaming building to bring out A BOOK."

"He does. I can't explain why, that's his story to tell. Just give him a chance. I may be biased, but he's a really nice guy. You just have to open up to him."

"And why should I?"

"Because he needs to know he's not alone. No one has ever been able to get through to him. He deserves happiness Amira. Tell him what you told me. Trust me it'll work, and it'll help you too.

"Fine, I'll try"

As I hear the footsteps coming up the stairs, I dart back into my room and back into bed quickly. There's a knock at the door. "You can come in." I say loudly to make sure they heard me. Amira wanders through the door and looks past me, avoiding eye contact. "Can I talk to you?" she asks anxiously. Nodding, I invite her to sit at the end of the bed as I look at her, twiddling her thumbs. 'It means she's nervous' I think to myself. 'Don't be too forceful.'

"What's up?"