AWOL

Dreaming

All human beings are dream beings. Dreaming ties all mankind together. ~Jack Kerouac

***

The Salts spread along the horizon, sparkling as much as they could through the gloom and mug as the sun set lower and lower into the earth. This was a rare moment, seeing even the little bittest of sparkle was a gift. Mama was the one who helped me understand what all those words really meant: glow, shine, sparkle.

Nothing ever really glowed or "illuminated"-one of my favorite words Mama taught me-like it used to. If it ever did, it was through ugly and unnatural fluorescent lights. I looked over and saw that Mama was sitting beside me on some rocks, the Salts were calm, Moon was beginning to pull the tides in as it got darker. 

"Back when your grandaddy and grandma were children, the skies were so clear and crisp that you could look across the Salts for miles and miles and make out stick figures of people on boats. Your grandaddy said to me once that when he first saw grandma, she was shinin' in the sun like an angel fallen from the sky and that night when he'd asked her to eat with him, she was still shinin', except it was more like glowin' because they were under the moonlight" she laughed.

 I wondered what moonlight looked like, and what grandma must've looked like shinin' under a bright sun. 

"Grandma told me they used to call the Moon and Sun cycles Night and Day." 

"Night and Day?" I asked. I was taken aback by my voice. 

I looked down at my baby hands and short legs, I was my child self, no older than 10 finished cycles. 

"Mhmm, and there were what they called seasons. Each one showed up four times a finished cycle. They had one called Summer when it was hot, Spring when it was just right, Fall when it got cold, and Winter when it got very cold. I imagine I would've enjoyed Spring the most. They said things grew the most then."

"Like flowers?" I looked up and could make out a sad smile on her face. Neither of us had ever seen a flower, but we often heard rumors of secret valleys full of them. 

"Yes, like flowers."

I awoke to a loud clatter as something hit the floor beside my head. Light flood my cell, I looked over and saw a slice of bread, a small bowl of porridge, and a cup of water knocked over on the floor. The porridge was abnormally thick, so only a small bit had enough time to ooze onto the floor before I picked it up. I ripped off a piece of bread, scooped up the porridge that was on the floor with it, and plopped the bite into my mouth, salty.  

I considered the spilled water a lost cause but noticed my cell was still illuminated. I looked up, curious to see why the panel was still wide open.

I could make out a man with long dark hair hovering over the opening. His hairstyle was unusual compared to the buzzcuts that pranced around all high and mighty. He stared down at me. Waiting for something? They usually lowered down a tray tied to a rope with my food on it, let me grab it off, pulled the tray back up, then slide the panel shut. No exchange of words, and most definitely no weird stares. I stood up.

"Hey! How about you use this valuable time you're wasting staring down at a helpless captive dying of thirst and get me another cup of the water that you spilled" I yelled up loud enough so he could hear me. 

Did the corner of his mouth twitch up? Before I had much time to decide if it was my imagination, he was already sliding the panel shut. 

I was in complete darkness. Again. Most of my time in this cell has been in the dark, but it's somewhat comforting. The darkness doesn't scare me, considering Outside is always dark. It's the light you have to watch out for because you don't know where it's coming from until it catches you. 

I began shuffling over to my mat, with porridge and bread in hand, until I felt something fold under my foot. I paused. There should be absolutely nothing else in this cell right now besides my mat, food, and me. I tapped my right foot around until I felt it again. It crinkled under my foot, like paper.  I picked up the small piece of paper and sat on my mat. I unfolded it in the dark, but with it being pitch black I couldn't make out what it said or see if there were even words on it. 

I heard the familiar click of a lock and hurried to shove the paper under my thigh. The panel slowly slid open to reveal the same man, he gave me the same stare as if he was waiting for me to do something. He didn't remove his eyes from mine as he began lowering the tray again, extremely slowly I might add, this time with a new cup of water. Was he THAT worried about tipping it over? 

He furrowed his brows in a frustrated gesture. I almost yelled up what do you want?! Out of my own irritation. I shifted and felt the paper under my thigh, and then realization hit, he must've read my facial expression because he gave a small nod, which only helped confirm my assumptions. 

He was lowering the water down painstakingly slow to give me time to read the note under the light. He must've set it on my tray of food from before. I pull it from under my thigh as the tray lightly touched the floor. I get up and quickly grab the water. 

Thank goodness my Mama taught me how to read. I read the last word just as the panel is slid shut and I'm cast back in the dark, my heartbeat quickens. It's the moment I've been waiting and preparing for, it only took a couple hundred moons, but Mama always taught me that timing was the difference between success and failure. Written in rushed, sharped-edged handwriting was my chance:

Be ready next meal

- J

_________________________________________

Author's Note:

A Finished Cycle= One Year

I don't use morning and evening, or breakfast and dinner because in the world I'm creating there isn't a differentiation between night and day, it's always dark and foggy. These words rely on daytime and nighttime to exist, in my world they can't exist. 

Please let me know if these Author's Notes are helpful!

Thank you for reading!