LOVE WITHOUT SLEEP

THE CHAPTER 15

I looked down at my phone, seeing a text from Matty I'm outside. I slipped it into my pocket and cut in between George and Emma's conversation, "I'm gonna get going..."

George looked up at me as I stood up, confused, "what? Where are you going, what do you mean?"

I turned around, "I mean I'm leaving, Matty's outside." I said, feeling odd to be leaving with him in the first place, "I asked him if he could...pick me up." I said slowly.

"When?" George asked, rising from his seat in realization that I'd been sitting on the side of him in silence the entire time.

"About a half hour ago...when I went to the bathroom and came back. I didn't want to be rude or anything--"

"When did you go to the bathroom?" He asked.

He was driving me insane with all his questions. I shrugged, "I don't know, George, but I did." My eyes trailed over to Emma, who seemed just as confused, "maybe you were too busy in your conversations to notice. I'm gonna go, see you guys later." I said, opening the door. I felt even worse to not tell Emma it was nice to meet her, though it really in fact was not.

I hurried down the stairs and looked around to find Matty's car, squinting as it became hard to see. The car right in front of me honked, the horn was so loud it made me jump. I peaked inside, to see no one other than him. I opened the door, getting in and neglecting my seat belt. I was too irked to care.

"What the hell were you doing here of all places?" He asked, starting on the road, "George is still in there?"

I leaned my head against the window, looking out in a depressed state. "George didn't even tell me she was his ex girlfriend." I said.

Matty looked over at me, then back at the road as he stopped at the light, "maybe he wasn't thinking. I'm sure he wouldn't purposely--"

"Don't give him the benefit of the doubt." I said, "I'm stupid...have you seen that girl Emma before?" I asked, looking over to Matty.

He nodded, continuing to drive. I could tell he thought something of her, and I wanted to know, "do you think she's good looking?"

He shrugged quickly.

"Come on, do you or don't you? I'm not gonna get mad at you its not like I care what you think." I lied.

He laughed, looking at me quickly, "if you don't care what I think then why are you asking?"

"I dunno. After seeing her, I feel like George would be an idiot to want me. You're his friend and all, so you would know how he feels, and what he likes." I said.

"Jude, not everything is all about how somebody looks. You can be fit but annoying as fuck and that's what she is. She's annoying, I hate her to be honest. At least you're fun, you have opinions and you make choices, you're not George's little bitch, you don't kiss his ass--"

I laughed, finally finding the courage to wipe the tears that hadn't managed to fall completely from my eyes, as everything became okay...sniffling and looking over at him, "well thanks."

"You're welcome." He said, "I like you for George. I think it was stupid he took you to his ex girlfriend's house and all but that's just him making a stupid decision, not you being bad for him."

He had a point. I reached out and patted him on the head, it was the best I could do, "thank you, Matty."

He smiled, "alright pat me on the head why don't you... I'm not a dog." He laughed.

His remark reminded me of how dreadful the entire Emma experience was. "Ugh, dogs that's all we talked about was her stupid dog the entire morning."

He laughed, "she's obsessed with her dog...I don't blame her, he's really cute."

"Yeah, well he's dying I guess...its really sad and all." I shrugged. I looked down at my phone as it rang, seeing it was a call from George. I hit ignore immediately.

"Was that Monica?" He asked.

I shook my head, "no..." laughing awkwardly.

"I kind of miss her." He said, making a swift turn.

I looked at him, squinting my eyes as I tried to figure him out, "Matty...do you like Monica?" My jaw dropping slightly.

He shrugged, "why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno...I thought she was just a hook up to you..."

"Why, was I just one to her?" He asked, taking a quick glance at me.

"No, no." I said quickly before I'd fuck anything up and give him doubts, "no she's crazy about you. I just thought--"

"That I do that kind of stuff? Have hook ups with my fans just because I know I can?" He asked sarcastically.

I shook my head no, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

We pulled up into the driveway, seeing George had somehow beat us home. Why'd he decide to leave after me? I rolled my eyes at the sight of his car. I wanted to key it but it would be only too obvious who'd done it.

"It's alright." He said, parking and taking the keys from the ignition.

I watched him, feeling like shit for always being so quick to judge. I studied his tired eyes, and his unkempt hair which he pulled behind his ear as he looked over at me, "what?"

I shook my head, opening the door, "nothing, sorry."

He got out of the car, as did I, "thanks again for picking me up."

"You're welcome," He nodded, lighting a cigarette as he approached the front door. The smoke drifting back and hitting my face only reminded me of how badly I needed one myself.

I followed him inside, seeing George at the couch, he stood up at our entrance. I looked at him and hurried off to the back room.

"Jude--"

I shut the door behind me, going through my bag in search of one of my books, any of them...to read and escape the shame I'd felt of myself now in front of him.

"Jude can we talk?" He asked.

I didn't say anything at all. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to do anything.

"I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we were there for so long."

"Well we were, okay?" I looked up at him, pausing from my bag.

"Well it could have been more fun than you let it be, the whole entire time you sat there on the side being quiet." He said.

I couldn't believe him, I stood up, crossing my arms, "Of course I did. You bring me to your ex girlfriend's house and talk all night about each other what do you expect?!" I raised my voice unintentionally.

"Right..." he said, sighing and leaning his back against the wall, watching me. Our silence filled the room as we continued to stare at one another. A thousand thoughts went through my mind but not one could manage to come to action or be asked.

I lowered my voice, "I came here, all because you asked me one question...what do I want." I said, walking closer to him and refusing to break my ground. "Now I'm gonna ask you...what do you want?"

He sighed, looking me in the eyes, "you know what I want?"

"Then why don't you act like its what you want?" I asked.

"I do. What the hell do you expect me to do, give you a throne and a crown? For fucks sake!" He said.

"I want you to at least show me some respect I'd never take you to my ex boyfriend's house, George!" My jaw dropped slightly, my mind had been beyond blown. I shook my head, "I'm tired, I can't do this. One day we fight, next day we make up, repeat. I just...I..."

"If you can't do it anymore then don't."

"What are you saying?" I asked.

"I'm saying forget it, all of it. I'm going out." He opened the door, walking out.