it's a very quiet day. i sit here on the grass under our tree, this is our place no one else is around. my eyes are closed making a very big decision. in my hands is a necklace with a ring as its pendant, he gave this to me on our 1st anniversary, it's been a year. i'm trying to reminsce every moment we spent together, all of the memories, the happiness, the fun, the joy, the hardships, the pain, the heartaches but through all of those we still end the day with the words "I LOVE YOU".
but i guess he has had enough.
he gave up on us. what happened to "you may not be my first but i promise you that you will be my last"??
i've been blinded by love. i loved him too much, too much that i forgot to leave some for myself. i loved him not asking for anything in return.
i guess i've had enough too. i already went through a lot of pain, a lot of heartaches, a lot of trials all by myself when he was supposed to be there but he was beside someone else.
i guess the saying "first love never dies" is true, well at least in my case it is because he was there by her side trying to cheer her up while i cry in sorrow.
i opened my eyes. i saw him. i watched as he made his way to where i am. i watched every bit of his movements. cherishing every moment for this may be the last time that i will see him after many years.
he sat next to me not saying a word.
"please listen to me... just listen" i started and i looked at him but he wasn't looking at me.
i continued "i'll be leaving tonight, i'm making my way to Australia. i'll be following my family because i don't have anymore reason to stay, you know what i mean"
he looked at me after i said that then turned back to where he was looking before.
i let out a heavy sigh.
"i'm not your happiness anymore, i saw how she can make you smile which breaks my heart everytime i think about it because i can't do that anymore. i'm not the reason for YOUR PRECIOUS SMILE anymore, your precious smile that i fell deeply in love with." i said not noticing that tears are already running down my cheeks.
"i love you too much that it hurts for me to let go of you but i'd rather be hurt than see you suffer with me, i'd rather see you smiling with her than not smiling at all" i wiped my tears as i continued what i was saying but with each word i say, my tears just falls down.
he looked at me and i saw worry in his eyes.
he wiped my tears, held my face and kissed my forehead, he always does that as his way of cheering me up, comforting me.
"by doing that you're making things hard for me........ but i know you'll be happier with her" i said.
"i'm sorry" he said.
"you are forgiven. thank you for all of the memories, thank you for the happiness that you have given me and the love even though i know you loved her more, you always had and you always will" i replied.
"i'm letting you go. i want to be the reason for your happiness and smiles, not your suffering and sorrow. love her the way she deserves to be loved." i continued.
"take care of her better than the way you took care of me. Goodbye Jeremiah, until we meet again. take care of yourself. i hope when i get back, both of you are still together and still very happy and i hope by then i find someone who will love me more than i love you, someone i will love more than you, someone who will always be there for me and will always make me happy." when i said that i kissed his cheek for the last time and stood up, i walked away without turning back to look at him. i didn't want him to see me crying again.
Not all stories have happy endings........
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mheheheheheh hope you guys like it :)
sorry it's not as good as other stories........... and i'm not good at making people cry.
this is pure FICTION.
but i hope you enjoyed it.
thanks for reading :)
comments are very much appreciated.
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