the girl across the room

the lights were flickering around her as she stared at the red plastic cup in her hand which was filled with some cheap beer. it didn't taste great but it definitely helped her get used to the crowded rooms of the house party she was at. she never liked parties, never felt like she belonged there between all these drunk and high teenagers. she felt uncomfortable watching them get wasted and trying to find a partner for the night who they will never talk to again afterwards. it was always like that and that's why she hadn't been to a party in months. but now she was there and she didn't even know why. maybe because she was trying to have some fun and loosen up since she hadn't been out in a long time. maybe because she was trying to meet some new people because of how lonely she had felt during the past couple months. maybe just for the alcohol and the drugs.
deep down she knew these weren't the reasons though. she hated being there, she hated all the fake people around her, she knew every single one of them was just there to get the newest gossip. no, she was there for one specific reason and that reason was standing across the room from her talking to a bunch of people, almost yelling because of the loud trap music that was coming from the big speakers in the corner of the living room they were sitting in.
she had been avoiding to look at that girl who was laughing and apparently having a good time but it got harder and harder with every second. she took a big sip out of the cup in her hand and finally she dared to look up. her eyes slowly put their gaze on the girl across the room. and they remembered every single feature of her. the girl was short and her dark hair fell over her shoulders in little waves. the dimmed light of the room was lighting up her face which made her eyes sparkle a bit. there was a little smile on her face while she was talking to the people around her. a smile that the other girl knew too well. and that little smile was what made her realize how much she had missed her. she missed everything about her. the way she smiled when she was genuinely happy about something, the way she looked when she was sleepy, the way she looked when she just woke up, the way she pouted when she wanted something, the way she smelled after a long shower, the way she talked, the way her touch felt. literally everything.
she saw how the girl's hands were holding a bottle of coke but she wished it was her hand she was holding instead. she saw how the girl was laughing at someone telling a joke but she could tell that that laugh wasn't genuine because she knew how it looked when she really thought something was funny. she remembered the sound of her laugh and a little smile started to form in the corner of her mouth.
and then for a split second the girl looked up and their eyes met. and the smile on her lips quickly disappeared. they looked at each other for a couple seconds but these seconds felt like days. it was like the world stopped for a moment. the music from the party went quiet, the people stopped moving, it was just the two of them. for a moment it felt peaceful, almost as peaceful as all the days they had spent together hanging out, laughing, having fun and all the nights they had spent watching the stars together, talking for hours or just laying together, holding hands and listening to each others heartbeat. but then that peacefulness disappeared and got replaced by the ugly reality of this moment and all that could be seen in their eyes now were questions. how did it get to this moment?
the world around them unfroze and slowly everything started moving again. behind the girl across the room a tall boy appeared and hugged the girl from behind which made her break the stare for the first time. the other girls gaze went over to the guy and so did all the anger and hate she had inside of her. she remembered him, he had always tried to get with the girl he was holding in his arms right now but she also knew that no matter how much the girl smiled in his arms, she felt dirty under his touch. the amount of nights the short girl told the other girl how much she disliked him and how uncomfortable he made her feel were uncountable. and now he was standing there, holding her and not caring about how she felt. the red cup in the other girl's hand, which had been empty at that point, slowly got crushed in her hand. she had to let out that anger somehow. she hated that boy more than anything and there was nothing she wanted more than to punch that big smile out of his face. she wanted to get her girl out of his dirty hands and run away to their treehouse they had built when they were 13 and that they always went to when they wanted to be alone. but then she remembered that that treehouse had been destroyed during a storm a couple months ago and that that girl she saw across the room wasn't her girl anymore. and in that moment it hit her for the first time in what felt like ages that she had lost her, probably forever. she had lost the person she loved the most just because she had been too afraid to show her love. she hated herself for being such a coward but there was nothing she could do anymore. and the girl that had once been the girl that fell asleep in her arms while they were watching movies or that always took her hand when they were going somewhere together and nobody was watching was now just the girl across the room at a high school party. and she was never gonna be more again. she would just be a sweet memory from the past that could have been more if she hadn't lost her.