Blue Valedictorian

Laila peeked through the thick velvet curtains, her classmates filing into the auditorium in straight lines like they were taught in kindergarten. Their tassels swinging by their faces, bodies engulfed in long navy robes with only their feet showing. She saw Jacob Donavan who took her to winter formal freshman year with the proposal of a fish floundering out of water. He had become so much more outgoing and confident since then. Samantha Downs from algebra who always partnered with her even though Laila was terrible at sharing the work, determined to get it all done on her own. And Jenny Haven, her best friend since 5th grade, who she went to the county fair with every year even though it only consisted of a few rides, goat competitions and an art contest. Laila smiled.

The music was so loud behind the curtain with the speaker directly behind her. The auditorium was cool, but Laila was sweating underneath her robe. The white dress she wore subject to becoming a yellowish off white by the end of the ceremony. She had gone over her speech so many times it was engraved into her memory, but she couldn't shake the feeling of standing up there, in front of her friends, family, classmates and others with her mouth agape and eyes wide in horror and humiliation from forgetting the words. Her sweaty palms smudged some of the ink on her notecards, stressing her out even more. She wished she'd had a chance to talk to Jenny before the ceremony started, but she was running late thanks to her curling iron burning thehell out of her temple and trying aimlessly to fix it with makeup. Jenny always knew the right things to say to make Laila feel better and she desperately needed her best friend right now.

She peeked out at the crowd once more. She could see her father sitting in the middle of the auditorium beside her sister who was playing on her phone, bored, and her grandmother who couldn't stop smiling and pointing things out in the program to her dad. Her mother wasn't with them though, probably still out from the night before with her "friends." It didn't surprise Laila. She was used to being let down by the woman, something a kid should never have to become accustomed to. However, Laila desperately hoped she would be there for this milestone in her life. It isn't every day that your oldest daughter graduates from high school, especially not in Laila's family. Her father had dropped out of school in the 11th grade and her mother just barely graduated, getting pregnant with Laila shortly after.

The music died down and the crowd began chattering while waiting on Principal Ivey to make his opening remarks. Laila could hear the abnormally loud laughter, the carefree atmosphere suffocating her. Pain shot through her skull behind her temples and her throat became dry. She tried massaging either side of her head, but found no relief from the pain. Her 8oz water bottle became empty in a matter of seconds before she crushed it in her and it landed with an inaudible clatter to the wood floor.

"Testing. Testing."

Principal Ivey spoke into the microphone, quieting the crowd instantly. The heat from the open doors on each side of the building were causing the audience to use their programs as fans and everyone was ready to get the show on the road. The dozen teachers sitting on the left side of the stage, outside of the curtains, were poised and un-moving other than Mrs. Lowe who can never stop talking even when you drop blatant hints that you have other things you need to do and really have to go. She kept whispering into Mr. Lanes ear, his deadpan expression proving he really didn't care about what she had to say.

"Thank you all for coming out and supporting our students as they end this chapter in their lives. I just want to say—."

Laila tuned out the rest of the speech, unable to concentrate on anything but the small note  cards in her hands. She never got stage fright when presenting in front of her classmates, but this was the biggest crowed she'd even spoken in front of and she couldn't help but play devil's advocate with herself, thinking of all the negative possible outcomes and neglecting the positive ones. Why did she have to give a speech? It was a tradition passed down from generations and she wished she could pawn it off on someone else. She could think of nothing worse right then than giving this speech and bombing it.