Chapter 1:
I watched frustratedly as my mom scrambled back and forth across my bedroom floor. She threw ties out of the closet, finding a hard time picking the right one for me to wear on the date she had set me up on. "Ooooo I like this one. It's perfect." She said as she turned away from the closet to reveal an orange and white stripy tie to me. "That?!? that thing's ugly as hell, why would I wear that on a date? The question should be why did you even buy that dreadful thing?" I ranted. "Watch your mouth kiddo. Fine, how about this one?"
She held up a navy blue necktie. "That's more like it mom. For a minute, I was thinking that you were completely tasteless." I teased. "Oh yooou."
She reached up and thumped my forehead.
"Mom, can I talk to you before we leave?" I asked.
"Of course." She took a seat on the foot of the bed then patted the spot next to her. "Have a seat."
I sat next to her. "May I ask you a question please?"
"Go ahead."
"Why do you always, you know, intrude on my love life. I know it's hard for me to find a good woman but, dang it mom. I want to let a good woman come my way for a change. First Ashley, then Marry, Olivia, Carrie, Pamela, Liz, Sarah and now Katie. And you know, they weren't even my type."
"No son. You were just picky."
"I'm not picky mom. Those girls were plain out ridiculous. Ashley was a freaking psycho who always accused me of cheating. That crazy broad even went through my phone and broke the last one I had. Marry was a whore. You know she slept with her ex in my bed in the last apartment I had and you know how bad I wanted to burn that bed."
"The rest weren't THAT bad were they?"
"The rest were a bunch of stuck up bitches who wanted nothing but money out of me. Especially Olivia. Like JESUS mom, where do you find these chicks?"
"So they were all that bad?" She asked.
"Yes mom." I was shocked that she didn't strike me for cursing.
"Well, I promise that this will be the last time I set you up on any dates."
"Pinky swear?" I joked holding up my pinky finger.
"We aren't elementary school girls Reagan. Stop fooling around and get your butt out of here." She demanded.
"If i'm leaving then you should get out of here too."
"Don't rush me little boy. I'm leaving." I watched as mom picked up her purse. "Don't be late." She waved her finger.
"I won't. Let's just hope she isn't a psycho." I said standing up to kiss mom's forehead. "Farewell Mrs. Blakermon."
"Farewell Mr. Reagan."
**************
My name's Reagan Blakermon I'm 23 and I've always had a hard time finding a good woman. For a year now I've had my buddies and mom set me up on dates, invading my love life like aliens conducting an experiment.
~~~~
Katie had to be one of the prettiest girls my mom had even set me up with. She had long blonde hair to her ass, a tiny waist and a perfect figure. It was like I was dating Barbie. We both skimmed the menu, deciding what we'd eat.
"So what do you do? What's your like, occupation?" She asked.
"I'm a mechanic. What about you?" I asked.
"I have two jobs actually. Barista at Starbucks from 6am-8pm. And a bartender at The Broken Barstool from 9pm-12am."
"The Broken Barstool!? I go there all the time with my buddies."
"I think I've seen you there before. I just never serve the side you sit on."
She stopped smiling and turned her attention to the waitress approaching our table. "Speaking of The Broken Barstool. That bitch comes there like all the time. Had no idea she worked here." She gossiped about the waitress.
I looked up at the waitress and couldn't help but notice how she was even more beautiful than Katie. She was a pretty dark skinned woman. It was strange though, I never dated a black woman before. She wasn't a toothpick like Katie either I can tell you that. She wasn't fat, but shapely.
She had finally reached the table, bringing her attention to Katie first. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't like Katie as much as Katie didn't like her. What is the history between these two?
"Welcome, may I take your order?" Her country accent was sweet. She held a pen and pad in her hand and waited patiently. We gave her our orders and she walked away, coming back with our drinks then leaving again. I turned to look at Katie with a cheesy smile. "So, you mind telling me what's up between you two?"I asked
"Well we used to be friends. Until she kicked me out of her apartment. End of story, now can we please focus on us right now and not that fucking ape."
"That's kind of racist don't you think?"
"Her throwing my shit out the window and telling me to get my 'sorry cracker ass out' was racist." She sipped her sprite.
"Okay then."
"Now let's continue this dinner and head back to my place."
"Whoa. Your place? For what?"
"Oh don't play stupid. I've seen how you've been looking at me."
"Look Katie, I hate to break it to you but I just met you."
"Who cares."
"I care. I don't fuck girls who I've just met. Especially not stuck up cunts like you."
"I know you want to fuck me Reagan."
"Well Katie, you're pretty damn delusional."
"You know, I think I should leave."
"Hmm yea, I think you should leave to. Better yet, fuck it, I'll leave." I got up from the table straightening my jacket. "Checks on you Miss two jobs." I said as I walked away, heading out the restaurant door.
My name's Reagan Blakermon, and I'm one picky man. I know what I want and it's defiantly not her. Guess she'll be serving me tonight at that bar. ;)
