Thing that matters

It hurt because it mattered

What if i fall in love with someone else?

Asked her to me on one summer night, in the middle of our long comforting silence staring at the stars on our rooftop

What do you mean?

As i dont really have a clue where this conversation is going. Sometimes i really did wonder what is going on inside that beautiful head of hers

I mean... look at us now. We're a mess, a complete chaos.. We've become toxic to each other. This relationship is going nowhere, we only hurts each other as we doing this, deny ourselves that we still could worked this out together

As she stand up from our laying position, cleaned up her pants and heading to our small window entrance

Perhaps it is time to stop. We will be okay i promise, we will be happy even we weren't together.. Her sentence are hanging as her gaze wander anywhere but my eyes. Her voice are shaking as she's trying to convinced herself too..

I love you, Kim.

Was her last word before she walked away as i remain silent staring at her silohuette leaving our favorite spot.

It took me an hour to finally realize that this wasnt a dream; that this is real, and the only thing left from her was her painful words and memories.

It is scary how people wake up with different feelings everyday. Perhaps one day, she just wake up and decided that we both doesnt worked out anymore.. Perhaps one day, she just wake up and decided she loves someone else.. Perhaps one day, she just wake up and decided she wants to leave just because she want to..

No matter what it is, it still hurts. It hurt because it mattered.