DONTMAKEMEFALLINLOVE || Billy Hargrove, Stranger Things

XXVI. Part 2

"He cheated on me Steve, he fucking cheated on me," I spat as more hot tears come pouring down my face, anger starting to overcome my mind.

"That's it, he's dead," he pulls away from me and starts towards the door before I pull him back, "Please, no! H-He isn't aware that I know."

"The hell he doesn't know–"

Wiping away my tears and trying to control my breathing I start, "I went to drop off his present at his house and then one thing led to another–," I sniffle, "and I found myself staring at him and a girl naked and asleep in his bed."

"Diana..." he coos before engulfing me once again as we sit down on my bed.

He feels pity towards me and I don't like it. But it's what I need right now.

"You love him don't you? You fell in love?" He asks whisper-like in my hair.

"Like a bitch," I chuckle wearily.

I did love Billy. I still do love him. It just took this long for it to click in my head. It's unbelievable how I had to lose him in order for me to come to the realization that I did fall in love. I never even had the chance to confess to him that I love him. I don't know though. I would never let myself fall so quickly.

"I should've known though," I mumble, "you all told me how he was a bad move, and I ignored you all. You even tolerated him just for my sake! Now look where that brought me. I'm so fucking stupid and ignorant."

"No, you're none of those things, Diana. What are you even going to tell him?" He questions worriedly but still with some of his features tense.

"I can't tell him anything. He has to tell me. What'll break me even more is if he just decides to never mention anything about his hookup," I sigh, my lungs feeling as if they're sinking deeper and deeper.

I need to build up the courage to be strong. I can't let him affect me.

Standing up from my bed, I stride over to my bathroom. The faucet then runs water, from which I cup some in my hands and splash my face.

Truth is, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should confront or ignore Billy.

What makes my heart ache is the memory of being cheated on before, right after putting all my trust on the table. This is still as difficult as the first time years ago but at the same time, so much more different.

The most disgusting conflict of this is my need to be comforted by him. The craving of his strong arms around me.

Sighing, I run my fingers through my curly hair to at least make it look presentable. Walking back out, I start, "Steve it's Christmas. Not that I don't want you here but shouldn't you be spending time with your family?"

"I consider you family." He replies.

"How cute. But get out. You know I mean your biological family." I snap at him but don't actually mean it. I would be selfish to beg him to stay just for my sanity.

"And you? What are you even going to be doing? No one should be left alone on Christmas. Come to my house." He reasons but that really can't happen.

"Steve, I haven't been to your house in years. Does your mom even remember me?"

"Of course she does! For crying out loud she despised me when we broke up! She still asked about you even when she knew Nancy and I were together." He mumbles the last part.