So this isnt a traditional book. Its kinda like my pothead diary. Me and my friends do all kinds of crazy shit when we get together and smoke. For confidentional reasons I will never use full names. When i say lineup I mean my job. We are snowboard instructors and the way it works is you show up ten minutes before the time lessons go out, and your supervisior gives you a lesson, or tells you to check up on a certain lesson at a certain time, or you're good until next lineup.
Chapter 1
The first time I will start with, we were at the mountain. We all worked there as snowboard instructors. Cody had bought up a g5 and a tinfoil bowl to smoke. We took off all our riding gear and headed to paintball, because no ones there on thursdays. On the way up there we decided to go smoke in the portipotty. We all agreed that if anyone caught us, we would say we're gay. When we finally arrived there, we stripped down further to nothing but pants and our hoodies. All three of is piled in. "Who's holden it while i pack it?" cody asked. Malley said he would. "He who packs it sparks it, right?" I asked. It was off and going. "Puff puff pass man! come share some around bro!" I said to Malley after like 6 puffs. Finally, I got it. I lit it, and inhaled deeply, held it for 10 seconds, and hit it a second time before exhaling. I got 3 puffs the second time before exhaling. I took one more round of hits ince it made it back to me. "Shit guys.. I'm sooo fucken baked hahahahahahaha" I said quietly. "Dude how are you so high?" Malley said. "Ya dude these are some shitty ass fucking mids bro" Cody added in. "I don't ever smoke mids guys" I quickly responded.
It goes on like that for another 20 minutes atleast. Now for the good part of the story.
We finished what was in the baggy Cody had. "Shit guys... where should I put it?" Cody said. "Haha put it up in the corner, no one will notice it" Malley said. We hid it up in the corner of the portipotty just above the urinal where the roof meets the seam of the 2 sides. We finally opened the door and looked around to see if anyone was there. It was clear. "Shit guys.. It's 6:40.. I cant go to lineup like this.. Im totally fucking trashed.." I saif after staring at the clock for a good solid 3 minutes. We started to walk back to the proroom to get our riding gear. "Guys, act normal, theres people coming!" Malley said. We all picked up our heads, inhaled deeply, and acted as sober as possible. When we got back to the proroom I looked at everyone and said there was no way i could make it in there without getting caught. They grabbed my vest, jacket, gloves and helmet for me. They both had their gear on when they came down. I got my gear and started getting dressed. After i put on my jacket, i couldnt zip it up. "Guys... i seriously cant zip my jacket.." I said after about 5 minutes. "Well hurry the fuck up, i wanna go ride!" Mallley said. I finally got it. We grabbed our boards and headed for the terrain park lift. We loaded up and were off. "Holy shit guys.. im fuckin' flying...." I put my arms out like an airplane "vrrroom vrrrooom im an airplane!" I said to them. we get off and we started talking about jumps. I dont do jumps or ramp very well. I went off the knuckle for the first jump. We started talking, not realizing that I was flying down the slope toward a massive 45 foot jump. Before any of us realized it, i was half way up the take off. "bend your knees and pop as hard as you can on the lip! You'll be fine, I promise." Both Cody and Malley yelled at me as i went further towards the lip. I bent down, and popped like they said I should. Luckily I had my helmet on. In the air I started to drop forward like I was trained, but I wasn't going fast enough. The nose of my board dug into the lip and i flipped and went face-first into the other side of the landing, where i should have landed.Both of them tore their boards off and ran up the knuckle to see if I was ok. According to them, I said "holy shit guys... i just busted my face.. and went through the knuckle.. Im fucking flying guys! Im good though..". I stood up, dislodged myself from the knuckle, rode back down the backside if it, and then went around it.
Lets take a little bit of a break and talk about what its like to snowboard when you're higher than a kite. It's really sketchy, and weird. You think like you have to think about each move to make it happen, and all, and you start to get paranoid because you cant do it fast enough, but in reality its just kinda happening and youre like "holy shit i can do this!" and thats when its the funnest. Anyways, back to the story.
After that we realized we should go away from where we can be seen from lineup. We decided to go over to the main slope, that has an intermediate difficulty rating. All three of us unloaded from the lift and went over to strap in. We all stood up and decided to go over to A double black diamond, and enjoy the ice - I mean snow. As we start over to the cutoff for a side trail, I spaced out while riding, and hit a patch of ice. I was on my toe edge, but of course wasnt entirely on the sharp edge of my board. I started to lean to make my transition, and ate it backwards down the slope. I got up and continued to the trail. I made it and met up with the other two. We rode down and over to the double black diamond triple lift. As we're in the line, Malley steps out a little from the waiting poles. As the lift came around for the person infront of us, it hit him and knocked him over. He right away stood up holding his hip, but yelling that he was ok. Once we were on the lift, we started talking about how high it felt. In reality it wasnt anymore than like 45 feet at the peak of its height. As we went to the face of the easier double black, Cody, still only one foot strapped in, yelled "Dropping in!" and just went for the face. The next thing I remember is flying through the air as I hit a makeshift jump some guys found. Cody was infront of me by atleast 30 feet by then. "Yooo Cody wanna race" I hollered at him. It was official, and he was winning. I decided to go flat and tuck down to get more speed. As I went faster, I got more sketched out about it. I decided to grab my phone out and see how fast I was going. "Hey guys.... my speedometer app is broken.. it says im going 65... on a fucken snowboard yoo.." I said. "Dude I dont think its wrong, and youre fucking insane.. Just don't get hurt you little fucker or theyll test you!" Malley yelled. "Yo guys lets head back to the park!" Cody said. We all looked at each other.. someone said it was a really far walk. We didnt want to ride the lift because it would waste too much time. "looks like were taking the 10 minute hike then broskies... But I'm taking off my board." I said.
"Dude lets go off the barrel!!" Cody said. We were in a flow park followinf eachother. The barrel was a huge ass propane tank that was burried up to the top part of the circle of the side, and the other side just dropped 6 feet. " Lets nail it broskies!" I added from the back. "Spaulding youre a pussy and wont do it" Cody yelled at me, slurred. "I'll hit it with all this speed right now pussies" i responded. I hit the incline, killed off a shitton of speed, and pulled a sweet nollie over the barrel, and landed with my tail on the barrel, and held it like that for a good 6 seconds. "Holy fucken shit bruh, you did it!!" Malley yelled. This was my first year in the park, and this was only like 30 days into the season. Malley was teaching mme park and was really impressed when I did stuff successfully.
"Dude its going on 7:30.. We gotta go.." Malley said. "Dudes don't ditch me when I'm this stoned, that wouldn't be cool at all" I responded. "well.. how about we go up lto the foodcourt, get some munchies, you can call your ride, tell 'em to come at 8, and we'll all head out then, ok?" Malley asked. "dude i'm so fucken hungry lets just go eat and figure it out later" Cody and I said at the same time.
That's the end of the fun of that night.
