So I completely forgot about this. Oh well it's not like anybody reads them. It's kinda just for me to get stuff down and still feel like I'm talking to someone. Which I guess works when people read it so basically I have no idea what I'm saying.
Where to start.
Ok so I've been in a horrible headspace. As in 'I'm going to kill myself this Saturday' bad. But now I have some help. It's just that I wish I didn't get help. It's so awkward talking to people irl. I hate it. And also now my parents and family know. So it's a mess. And friends are finding out and I have no privacy anymore. I hate it. I'm also waiting to find out if I have depression from a doctor. So that's terrifying. 🙃
Uuuggghhhh.
And then there's the whole 'crush' thing. Ok so I have a huge crush on a girl that I'm friends with (and, yes, I'm a girl). She's in a few if my classes and we talk every now and then. She thinks she is pan but she isn't sure. And I'm almost certain I'm gay. And basically my friend told her behind my back because she knows I'm a massive worrier and didn't want me to freak out. So now I'm freaking out because I have no clue what to do.
- note that I'm a really ugly person with nothing good about me
So yeah. Life sucks at the moment.
YOU ARE READING
my story
Randomhey internet. although it is highly unlikely anyone will read this, it feels good to tell my story. my story is still going, so I'll update this. anyway, see ya TRIGGER WARNINGS: ~self harm ~depression ~anxiety ~etc.
