#1
Deprived from the warmth on which I depend, left stranded and exiled. As if a fire burns inside me, I feel. But DOES it?! Does it really? Would it last, if I were not to touch it? Who knows. Without touching it, I can go not, for it tempts me and attracts me in ways with which I am not familiar. Ways which I knew before, but are now covered with leaves. Paths. Hidden. Wandering through a forest, but I am lost. From time to time, it seems I know where I am, like I've been here before. Then comes a time in which I am completly lost, where everything I see is strange and unknown, my view blocked by the thick bushes of wild weeds. But every so often, while wandering, I find a path. A path I was previously on, but not the same part of it. It's further away from the last one, closer to the end. To civilisation. To knowledge, power, understanding. Closer to peace. Further from restlessness.
The feeling of burning, a sensation, across my skin. But only the skin that she touched. Only the part of MY skin which felt HER warmth. I wore pants, she sat by my side. Our legs touched, I felt her warmth. My right thigh is burning. All of it. The inner and the outer part. Some, she touched with her leg, just because she was close to me. (Maybe she wanted to feel your warmth as well?Did she? Or are you hoping she did and making things up when they aren't there? Are you imagining it? Am I imagining it?) Thinking about it, she didn't have to sit so close; there was plenty of space on the other side. Some parts of my thigh she touched with her hand, while trying to provoke me, manipulate me. She touched my hand. Held it, in fact. Fuck, that felt good.
Few were the moments in which we didn't touch, at least in some way. Even when we didn't touch, I felt her warmth. Her energy.
Energy. People give out energy. They radiate energy. Everyone has their own, even though it changes depending on their mood. I can feel it, recognise it, mould it by my own wishes. Everyone's. Except hers. Hers confuses in and leaves me dumbfounded, speachless. When she touches my skin, that part of the skin burns. Radiates. But when her energy strikes me.... my entire body starts to burn, quiver and shake. It's been two days since I felt her energy and the feeling still hasn't left me. It still resonates withinin my bones, within my very being. It's infuriating. As all good things are.
