The light in my darkness (will be changed) solby hybrid famfiction

Part one

Hello everyone my other hybrid story did really well so I have decided to make another one! Enjoy!! TRIGGER WARNING.
this book has a lot of suicidal thoughts and depression if you get triggered easily skip over that part I'll try and warn you by putting a *** in front before and after the part that can be triggering for some people if I have missed a part please let me know immediately thank you.

Colby's p.o.v.
The depression was setting in again.
I could feel my heart get heavy and tie itself to my bed. I opened my phone and sighed not having any messages again. Which only made me more depressed. I remember about what my therapist said going outside once you start getting depressed it'll help she says but I'm not quite sure.

Nature makes me nauseous.

I put my phone on the side table and looked at the tv in front of me.

I don't want to watch TV

I just want to lay here and be sad.

I let myself sink into the bed feeling the weight of my body on the bed seems to be the only thing I can feel right now.

I stared at my ceiling fan as it makes its way around the light.

It's funny the little things you notice when your sad. I wouldn't have noticed the way the light reflexes a shadow on the roof. Or the obnoxious ticking the fan makes after every round.

TICK
TICK
TICK
" COLBY" I groaned and rolled over where my back was facing the door.
Just let me be sad I thought as a familiar female voice comes swinging in my room.
Normally I'd scream for people to knock more but I'm just to sad I pretend the don't exist.

"Yo Colby it's time for dinner"
I didn't say anything.  I'm not hungry.
I groaned tired of this life tired of being sad all the time.

I know.

I'll run away.
Start a new life.
I can finally follow my dreams of being a YouTuber.
I do have a channel already but it's not very big yet. I have a vine and pretty much everyone from vine follows me on YouTube which is only like 100 people.
I also suck with YouTube so maybe I can meet someone that'll teach me all about it.

So that's that. I have my car I don't have a lot of money but I know my dads PIN number he gave to me for emergency. If I take his card out and take out everything that should get me by until I can get a job. 

I'll leave after everyone goes to bed. Which normally is around midnight. Time to make my life mine.