30 day writing challange

Day 2

Day 2 —Tell about a character who lost something important to him/her/them.

I lost my mind.

Along with my love and my identity, I've been forced to let go of myself. Put myself in the room of requirement and then stuff my body in the closet under the stairs.

I might tell you what happened, I'm supposed to write down little things in this jotter. It's the only piece of freedom I have in this closet. It's supposed to be mine. But I know they're lying to me, even this book of paper is a trap,  they will take it away from me just like they took my mind and read it.

I didn't just lose my mind, it was stolen, stabbed, moulded, cut and scraped- they took the parts they didn't like and left the parts I hated.

Nothingness

Numbness

But in rare moments like this I feel more, I feel a vivid anger and self loathing. My skin ichtes like I've been covered in little cat scrapes all over, and I want to rip my skin off. The dried blood under my nails proves that I've tried.

My mind starts thinking, but it's over taken by the scenes of me digging this blunt pencil into their eyes and then my own. Blind myself to this hateful world. Not only blind myself but deafen myself to, I don't need to hear their shit about what they think or how they are doing this because they care.

We love you honey

You need to let it go

You are better then your sins

You lost it
You lost it
You lost it

I want to scream at them for putting me in this cycle! I should be out in the world living life with more then just two emotions, flying high with the wind flowing through my air and the buzz of humanity in my soul. I know I should. Not this anger and hopelessness nesteled in the pit of my stomach.

I hate it, I hate everything , I hate them and I hate me, I hate that I've lost my life but still have a heart beat and a healthy respiration system that keeps me going. I hate the food and multi vitamins they stuff me with and the drugs they use to tame me . I hate the lies they scream.

Well I don't think they scream but it sure does echo around me, reverberating around my empty brain.

Lost

Lost

Lost