With Eyes Wide Shut

I:

I never conquered, rarely came

But tomorrow holds such better days

Days when I can still feel alive

When I can't wait to get outside

The world is wide, the time goes by

The tour is over, I've survived

I can't wait till I get home

To pass the time in my room alone

(Adam's Song - Blink-182)

 

 

 

I stare at a blank space at my wall. Thinking opposite of what I felt during that horrifying moment. I just wish I could forget it all. It caused me nothing but pain and got me unstable. Being 17 and alone just held too much pressure on me. It ruined my fucking life. 

I just want to go away from this place. It's just too pathetic. I can't take it anymore.

 

 

 

All of it started at a normal afternoon at school, while I was listening to my playlist. The Maine, as usual. After a few clicks Identify came up. Perfect. All I just need is a lighter. I'm just one pack of smokes from broke. Ohh, shit. Good thing I found a box of matches from my rucksack. I lit my smokes and let all my miseries sink in and out of my lungs. People tell me I'm too young to do this kind of stuff, but I just ignore them. I just tell them it helps me relax and blow all the tensions away from my insides, even if I know that it's killing me slowly. Fuck it.

 

 

 

I was walking on the way to my locker, when some girls whisper in hushed voices. They were staring at my cigarette, swinging from left to right at my lips and constantly decreasing as I inhale a deep breath. I blew a cloud of smoke as I walked passed them. I heard them coughing from the smoke and it made me laugh so hard. Ohh, my bad. Little bitches.

 

 

 

By the time I reached my locker, some of the older guys from the campus surrounded me in a circle. The biggest one started laughing at me.  I think his name was Jason.

 

 

 

"What the hell is wrong with you and your tight jeans, Tyler?" said Jason.

 

 

 

His whole group laughed and tossed around like immature assholes. What the hell is wrong with these idiots?

 

 

 

I just reached for my stuff, and quickly walked away. I don't want a mess again.

 

 

 

But still, I can't help it. I turned back and gave Jason a really big sucker punch to the face. His nose bled quickly after.