The Anxiety Inside

You don't know what it's like,
To live with anxiety.
To face the demons in your mind every day.
It's just pure agony.

Yelling every second,
These bad thoughts in my head.
And I know they won't stop,
Not until I'm dead.

And even when I try to block them out,
They yell way too loud.
It's like I hear a thousand people talking at once and I get lost in the sound.

I don't even notice I'm cracking my knuckles, or biting my cheek, or doing anything to distract me.
From the constant buzzing in my head from when my demons torment me.

It is torture, no hell that I'm dealing with inside,
And no matter how fast I run away there's nowhere I could hide from my mind.

It's scary,
It's fucking endless.
It's like one minute is an hour,
And you don't know where the end is.

You can't just solve the problem because sometimes there is none.
Just feeling that's burn up inside you.
You feel everything all at once like a flame that won't extinguish,
And there's nothing you can do.

On the outside it looks like I have everything together,
But looks can be deceiving.
Pain isn't just bleeding, or aching, or so easily seen like a fatal wound.
It is internal and emotional believe me.

Sometimes it's the demons and battles you can't see,
that are the hardest to fight.
The ones that you deal with everyday,
And keep you up at night.

But we don't talk about it,
Because no one likes to talk about the bad stuff.
Hell, even though I need to, I don't like talking about the bad stuff.

Another day passes because all I have is time.
Another day trying my best to survive.
But I'm still here so I guess that's something.
I'm still in this battle and I'm not giving up because I'm still alive.