Because I love you.

Chapter twenty one: Honest

I reply to Evan's text the next morning as I slept through his text before. And that is pretty much my whole day. He texts me as he works which although I discouraged he still does; sending me a text as he leaves to order tests or talk to others. It makes me remember a time when I was immuno-compromised and all we could do was text or video call. He calls me on his lunch break.

"So how are you feeling today?" He asks.

"Much better, no fever, just still a bit tired." I say as I look out of my window.

"Well you did have an amazing doctor." He says smugly.

"No, I had an amazing med student." I correct. He chuckles and I lean on my window slightly, tracing some lines as I listen.

"Well, I am good." He says. I smile and I lay back down in bed.

"You know what I miss?" I ask.

"What do you miss?" He asks.

"The Saturdays we used to have at your place. The ones where we would eat popcorn and watch movies and other stuff." I say.

"Yeah those were great, but I must admit the sofa I have at the moment is so much more comfortable." He says. "Maybe one day we can re create those Saturdays." He suggests.

"I don't know about that Evan." I say honestly.

"Why not? You just said you missed it." He says.

"I'll explain when we meet." I say. "Anything like this I believe should be done in person; it's kind of a new rule of mine." I add.

"Oh, I understand. I'll survive four days." He says happily.

"Thank you." I say, pulling the blanket up over my shoulders. "How has your day been?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Busy. Quite a few strange cases but obviously I can't say any more than that." He says with a sympathetic hint to his voice.

"Yeah I get it. But I believe in you, you can solve anything." I say. I hear him laugh a bit and I smile.

"I love that." He says. "I've got to go to the lab now so I can't talk but rest up for our date on Saturday." He adds slyly.

"It's not a date." I slip in before he hangs up. I laugh and shake my head, now he has no trouble hanging up.

I put my phone away and close my eyes. I know I am being apprehensive because of the past but I think it's more about Jacob and my whole other life in America. I gave them my English number before I left but they haven't called. Maybe they're busy planning prom. How I'd love to see Carrie's face when Noah asks her to prom, and how happy they'd look. Everyone would look so elegant. I mean, at this point they know that I lied about my name but that's nothing, unless Jacob is changing my story.

I check the time in LA and see that at least Carrie should be awake; she always wakes up early to do get ready slowly. I decide to call her; she will tell me if I'm just being delusional. It takes a while for her to pick up but when she does, she sounds tired.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" I ask.

"No I was about to start my morning meditation." She says with a yawn. "Why are you calling me at six thirty in the morning?" She asks.

"I was worried, I gave you guys my English number but you haven't called; it's been ages." I say nervously.

"Well, with time zones and exams it's been hard." She explains. I take a deep breath and she clears her throat. "You sound weird, are you okay?" She asks.

"Yeah, my mind has just been annoying. I keep thinking you guys are annoyed at me or something." I say honestly.

"Well we aren't happy to be honest. After the party Jacob told us everything. How you two made everything up. That hurt but with everything considered it's not like we hate you. We understand now that it's because you wanted to get away from your past and start over. Jacob explained it was his idea." She says.

"You know..." I say, lifting my knees to my chest. "I am sorry Carrie, I really am." I say.

"It's okay; part of me always thought it was too good to be true." She says. "So has England been?" She asks.

"Strange. I didn't realise how much I missed it. I miss America too, but at the moment I'm glad I decided to come back." I say honestly.

"Well you did promise to come back, and to be honest I think Jacob really misses you. I think you two could maybe even get back together." She says.

"I don't know Carrie. I'm still figuring everything out. It's hard to think about relationships at the moment." I say, thinking about Evan and my opinions on relationships for right now.

"I understand, just don't go getting a boyfriend when you have someone on strings here." She says with a giggle. I smile a bit and sigh.

"Yeah, of course not." I say. "But I have to go Carrie, Say hi to the others for me." I add.

"Okay, talk later." She says and hangs up. I lie back down and sigh. I just want this to be over so I can move forward. But I suppose I have to choose so I can move on. And that's the last thing I want to do.