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hi my name is nicole i have had a good life but it has its downs .it all started when i was one .i was put up for adoption by my parents .i dont know why ,i feel neglate from it . ever since then i have been in and out of foster homes when i was ten i was adopted by this family i was so happy .that i would finally have a family that would love me .

i lived their for about six months before my adoptive dad jim started abusing me .but after he would hurt me he would apoligize .so i thought it was nothing that lasted for four years before he got sick and was in the hospital .i was greatful that he could not hurt me .it was just me and my adoptive mom we had so much fun just us two.we did all kinds of mother daughter things i felt loved like i always wanted to.that lasted for a year.just us two it was amazing.

a week after he was in the hospital we were all heading home when he started smacking me while he was driving .

"stop being such a bitch back there "jim said

"im sorry ill stop"i said scared of what he was going to do to me when we get back to the house

"yeah you better "jim said while still smacking me each time much harder .

"im sorry"i say while crying

"bitch "jim says letting go of thw steering while while trying to stangle me.my mom kate trying to stop him and trying to steer .she saw me turning pale so she takes he hands off the wheel to get jims hands off my neck when there is a CRASH.......

lossing control of the wheel we crashed and i was the only survivor .i woke up in a hospital not knowing where i was .when the nurse and doctor came in i asked

"where and i am where is my mom"

"i am afraid you are in the hospital and your mom had died from internal bleeding ".

"NOOOOOOOO this cant be happening "i said in a panic

"i am sorry there is a therapist here to help you and ask some questions"

"okay"i say while still crying

"hello im david im the therapist i just have a few questions then you can asked me anything you would like" he said

"okay "i said

":first question did your parents ever abuse you"davis says

"ummmm ...........what makes you ask that "i said concerned

"well when you were entered here you have multiple brusies and markings that was not from the accident you can tell me the truth"

"well my dad use to hurt me but then he would applogize then got sick so i havent gotten hurt since well today "i said scared of what he would say

"okay,well what does he did he do to you"david says

"umm he hits me ,chokes me ,burns me ,cuts me ,punches me and more"

"okay ,do you have any family members you can live with?"david said

"umm i am not sure i never met any since my dad said family the is bad so we can not see them"i said

"okay well then we will look for any "he said

(personal thought)

i had no one left.why did kate have to die i would have been more than happy if it was just me and her .i had no one so i would have to go back to foster care.i hated it there .

i had no friends a new school every couple months .i was an outcast to all the other kids.(end of personal thought)

"well while we are looking for family for you you need to go back to foster care after they release you'david said i guess said that i had no where else to go.

i had to go back to foster care where i was abused for keeping quiet .i cryed myself to sleep most nights because no on even loved me .i was just some little brat that was unwanted.i waited 6 months for them to find a grandmother and aunt in maine .i was told they were my moms family.

TWO MONTHS LATER

well today is the day that i meet my new family.what if they dont like me ?what if they abuse me ? .what if i make no new friends at my new school ? i have thousands of questions running through my head i dont know if i see positive coming out from this .i am so nervous .i am on a bus to new york then one to maine .i have nothing to do except lisen to music.which kate bought me for when jim was not home.i loved her i miss her tons .

i was snapped out of my thoughts when i heared last call for new york bus station.

i got on the maine bus .walked to my seat and sat down ready to fall asleep for the hours to come.i woke up by someone someone poking me.

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