Hurt ♥ A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

Chapter 9

"Tessa I need to talk to you."

I slowly turned around to reveal none other than Niall. I grimaced inside. I would have said I need to go home right away but something told me I shouldn't. Which is dumb, because I shouldn't be trusting Niall.

"What is it?" I say softly, trying not to choke on my own words.

"I just... remember this one time back in the day... and my and one of the boys were together, and we saw you in the closet." He paused. "Do you remember that day?"

I bit my lip, there was many times I had gone into this custodian closet when I was younger sometimes to escape the harsh reality of other kids. Sometimes when I felt I needed I break from all the high stress. It was one nobody ever used. So I had to think a moment before it finally hit me, and it felt like a million glass shards had broken inside me all at once.

I switched on the light as soon as I quietly shut the door. I couldn't get caught in my sacred hiding spot, the one that made me calmed down. But right now... it was for anything but that.

I looked down at the blade in my palm. My hands shake. This was not just to soothe me; this was going to be the end for me. I've had enough of everyone treating me like shit and getting away with it.

Slowly pulling up the sweater sleeves, I see my previous scars. I shake my head at them. It's so messy, and it's frustrating. I once loved them, but now I just thought them to be a bother. It comes a point in your life. And then, you start wanting to see the scars again so you create more. It's a cycle.

I listen silently pulling my sweater down quickly, hearing footsteps. Standing on my tip toes I look up through the window seeing Niall and... that new kid who I can't remember. Just when I think they can't see me they look my way confused.

Terror, anxiety, and frustration all struck me at once.

They start to walk my way and I see no point in trying to hide now, I know the routine by now. Opening the door and closing it behind me being sure not to make much noise from it.

"Please don't tell anyone," referring to my hiding spot and the blade in my hand which I solemnly try to hide.

Niall smirks, and shakes his head. I already know that this won't go well at all. "Do you really think I'm going to try and cover for you? I mean look at you..."

The new boy laughs.

Before I know it I'm on the ground being kicked by the new boy, and Niall just laughs. That hurts. I think it would hurt if it was anyone else in Niall's place. I am being kicked, and punched this doesn't feel good at all and you are fucking laughing at this... what is your fucking problem?

When they were done they just left me lying there, and when I had the energy to get up I walked all the way home and avoided everyone. It was really terrible.

"Yeah," I nod.

"I just, I need to apologize. That was the worst thing that I had ever seen, and... I felt so bad. I... saw the blade. You... you don't anymore do you?" He asks biting his lip.

I paused, "No." Because it was true, I haven't cut since I was last in Ireland as a kid. I stared into his eyes for a moment, before looking away. I hate giving eye contact for too long. Even if his eyes were beautiful.

"Ok..." he said not quite believing me. Suddenly everything sped up, and at the same time slowed down.

He brought his hand up to my face gently, looking into my eyes and now I couldn't help but look into his for I was so confused. I also found myself admiring them, the way they were bright blue right now.

And then he started moving closer, and butterflies were moving all around inside me. I had, had my first kiss but I was just so nervous for this one. His lips were placed on mine- I hated myself for this- and I kissed him back.

But the kiss deepened when he grabbed my waist, and pulled me closer to him.  Out of instinct I reached up and put my arm around his neck. This isn't something I've ever tried before because I'd always been nervous to, but I bit his bottom lip softly.

We both slowly pull away, looking at each other. There was so many emotions going through me right now, I couldn't decide what was the best or worst.

"I have to go..." I say breaking the silence turning around and walking quickly away.

I actually hated myself a lot for doing that. It was possibly the worst thing I have ever done. It felt so great but I shouldn't be doing that. I hated him right? While my thoughts were going ramped I touched my lips, the same spot he kissed me. I couldn't help but smile, and I wanted to slap myself for it.

 I got home and Karmin was there on the couch, and my parents were at the table.

"Where were you?" Mum asks.

"I just had to stay after school a few minutes to ask a teacher a question."

"Oh okay."

It was a pretty good lie, and I think it could suffice for any other time I wanted to go out for a few minutes instead of coming home.

I picked out some pajamas out of my dresser, and got comfy after going down stairs to make a salad. I don't know what to think of Niall. I could go two ways with this. Friendzone him, or I could accept him. Or, not mention it ever again and forget it happened. I guess that's three ways. Maybe not even talk to him?

 I looked down at my phone; it had a couple missed calls. None of them were Karmin; mostly, Niall and Luke. I don't know how Luke got my number but however he did I wasn't answering.

The next day, I ignored all the looks I got from everyone. I didn't want to be acknowledged. The only person I will talk to is Karmin, and she had to stay home today because she didn't feel good. That pretty much sucked too because I feel this would be a really bad day.

I put my bag in my locker and go to gym when the bell rings, and get dressed in the girls locker room.

I sighed as I went out, and sat on the cold floor.  I situated myself, so my head was in between my legs, and my arms on the back of my head for support. Other girls came out, going to their regular groups, and chatting. About five minutes later, the gym teacher came out and said we were playing dodge ball. 

We played until the end of the class, and the rest of the school day was boring.

I got home and checked on Karmin. "You okay?" I looked into her room.

 "Yeah..." She moaned.

"Do you need anything?"

"Can you get me another water bottle?"

I leave her to go get a water bottle from the fridge, and head back into her room. She reaches out her hand for it. I hand it to her and she thanks me.

I head up stairs, and start working on my homework. Later on, I hear a knock at the door and get up to go answer it. I open the door, and see Niall.

"...Niall?"

"Hey. Tessa, I'm sorry." He says, slowly... with sincerity.

The right side of my lips twitch down, "I know you are."

"Why are you okay with me one second and then hate me the other?"

"Because I'm unsure of how I feel... I'm sorry Niall. I'll forgive you someday."

"But..." He got so close I could feel his breath on my cheeks. His breath uneven, as he said the words I never thought I'd hear... "I..."