Kiss It All Better

Zayn sat on his bed in the small square cell, looking around one last time before shifting on the mattress and lying down. His memory was trying to force images he really doesn’t want to see again into his vision, but he fights it for as long as he can. After a few minutes, he gives in, throwing an arm over his face and shuts his eyes, letting the memories flood his vision.

He was at the end of a dark alley that reeked of mould and sewage. He had come to investigate where the loud bang came from and to find Liam.

“Liam?” The Bradford boy asked cautiously. He heard footsteps running away, deeper into the alley, attempting escape presumably. Zayn crept down the narrow passage and caught sight of something unimaginably horrible.

He saw a smoking revolver on the ground, dropped in haste. Liam rested beside the gun, breaths rasping and watery sounding. Zayn fell to his knees and with shaking hands, he gathered the love of his life’s head into his lap, and held his hand with all he had while searching for a wound with the other. His hand quickly became damp when he reached the top of his abdomen. The raven haired boy’s eyes prickled with unshed tears threatening to fall onto Liam’s paling face.

Liam’s beautiful brown eyes filled with tears that pooled over and streaked down his temples, disappearing into his hairline. The Wolverhampton boy opened his mouth to speak, but coughed before he could utter a word. Blood trickled out and trailed down his chin, painting pale skin crimson. With each unsteady breathe Liam took, his face creased more and more in absolute agony. Zayn rubs his bloody hand on his clothes, winces, and then uses it to wipe away the blood on his love’s chin. He ends up smearing it, and gives up, letting the tears he held back fall.

Liam tried to speak again, with a little more success. He choked at first and Zayn immediately leant down so he could hear the broken boy over the sound of the city life carrying on unknowingly. Liam’s voice came out wet and raspy.

“Kiss it all better; I’m not ready to go.” Zayn’s grip tightens on Liam’s hand and his breath caught in his throat. His heart stutters at the defeated look in his boyfriend’s eyes. The two boys were about as in love as you could be, and Zayn had been going to propose on their anniversary, which was coming up in a few days. Every time one of them had gotten hurt, they’d ask the other to kiss it better. That was just how they were, and nobody ever questioned it.

Zayn chokes back a sob before replying, “Babe, I can’t… I should’ve been with you, this wouldn’t have happened if I was with you, it’s all my fault I’m so sorry-“ He cuts himself off, his throat constricting painfully as tears spill down his face.

“It’s not your fault love, you didn’t know.” Liam forced out, no matter how much pain he was in, he needed Zayn to know it wasn’t because of him. It had been a wrong-place-wrong-time kind of thing.

Zayn had dropped all hope of not sobbing and just let go, feeling his heart break into shards that couldn’t be put back together. Liam’s hand lifted to cup his face, and Zayn flinched inwardly at how cold his hand was.

“No, no, no, no, no. No, this can’t be happening, it can’t. We were supposed to live happy long lives together and playfully banter and tease all the other retirement home residents together. I need you, I love you, you can’t leave me this isn’t fair.” Zayn rambled, eyes searching Liam’s face for a sliver of hope. He found none, only a sadness that had him opening his mouth and closing it repeatedly like a fish. He closes his mouth abruptly and bites his bottom lip between his teeth, drawing blood.

Zayn leaned down and peppered kisses all over Liam’s face, saving his lips for last. He kisses his nose softly before moving to his lips and covering them with his own. It was a quick, chaste kiss, but it held so much emotion and all the words neither could say. Zayn pushed back all his fear to comfort Liam the best he could.

“Everything will be alright.” He said quietly, pressing another kiss to his love’s red lips. Liam barely nodded before closing his eyes and giving in to the darkness tempting him. His breathing ceased as his heart beat for the last time. Zayn’s will collapsed and he began sobbing again, cradling Liam’s head and whispering little nothings in his unhearing ears.

Lifting his head, a gleam caught his eyes and he turned to see the gun still lying beside Liam. Rage ignited and burned through his veins, fuelling him to avenge his lover. He gently removed Liam’s head from his lap and stood up. Walking over, he picked up the gun and saw that there was one bullet left. He cast one last glance at his beautiful boyfriend’s face before grief numbed his mind and body. He knew this part of town, and began his search for the piece of filth that murdered Liam.

Zayn had been walking for close to an hour when he came to a deserted intersection with someone suspicious looking across the road, just under a streetlight. He was constantly moving, and flinched whenever someone brushed past him or there was a loud sound. Without thinking, he shrugged his jacket off and threw it over his arm and that was when Zayn knew.

There was blood splatter on his shirt, barely visible if you weren’t really looking for it. Zayn stalked over to the excuse for a human and punched him square in the nose.

“What the fuck?” The man spat out, blood already pouring out his obviously broken nose. He cast a glare at Zayn who already was throwing another punch towards his eye. It ended up hitting his cheekbone and the stranger hissed in pain. “What did I ever do to you?” He inquired angrily. Zayn laughed humourlessly.

“What did you ever do to me? You took away my world.” He spat out, eyes watering again. He blinked them away, unwilling to show weakness to this thing. The guy before him looked confused before his face filled with recognition.

“Dude it was an accident-“ Zayn cut him off with a knee to the groin, and the man doubled over in pain.

“An accident? If it was and ‘accident’ you would’ve tried to call for help or done something to at least try and save him! You disgust me you worthless piece of shit!” He shouted angrily. The man straightened out and scoffed. He turned his back on the raven-haired man, and began sauntering away.

Zayn quickly pulled the gun out and aimed before squeezing the trigger. The shot echoed throughout the air, mocking Zayn as images of Liam lying dead in an alley flooded his vision. He crumpled to the ground, the gun long forgotten.

A police cruiser came by after an unknown amount of time, followed by other vehicles with wailing sirens. A voice spoke in Zayn’s ear, but it was unintelligible due to the blood pounding is his ears.

Zayn opened his eyes and removed the arm from his eyes. He’d only been here for a few weeks, and his sentence for second degree murder was 25 to life. The man had died, shot straight through his heart, and Zayn couldn’t have been happier. After all, the man had torn his world apart.

He wasn’t one for murder, but he had hoped that killing him might bring some peace to him about Liam. It hadn’t. He knew that Liam wouldn’t have approved and would’ve wanted him to move on and be happy, but how can you be happy when your reason to be happy in the first place is dead? All he has left of Liam is a memory, and he holds onto it with everything in him.

Zayn looked out the window in his cell to see that it was dark out. He must’ve been flashing back for a few hours. Lying back down, he closed his eyes and willed his mind to sleep. On a whim, he opened them, and stifled a gasp because Liam was in his room. Liam.

“Liam…” he chokes out, unable to form thoughts or words while his throat and heart clench painfully.

“Hey babe…” His melodic voice replies, hearts in his eyes. Zayn can’t believe his eyes and gets up and walks towards his lost love, arms opening to embrace him. His heart crumples again when Liam’s hands come up in a ‘stay back’ stance. “I’m not real Zaynie, and I don’t want you to cry again, you know I hate it when you cry.” His voice soft, yet unyielding.

Tears spring to his eyes and tumble down his face, soaking into his bright jumpsuit. He lies back down on his bed, but faces Liam who took to sitting beside the bed, face close to Zayn’s.

“Stay with me, until I fall asleep?” Zayn asks, like a lost child. Liam nods once, and reaches out to grasp his hand, though he can’t feel it.

“I love you, Liam.” He whispers before falling into a deep, peaceful sleep for the first time in months, since Liam passed.

“I love you too, Zayn.” Liam said before dematerializing.