I've been with my partner for over 10 years, we've been married for 3 years, and I got my official diagnosis a couple of months ago. I'm autistic as well as being disabled due to various chronic health issues.
I think our relationship is actually a lot healthier than those of our more neurotypical friends. Our communication is really good and it just gets better. We agree to actually talk about any issues we have rather than expecting the other person to just know.
Some people call me blunt but he's never made me feel bad about it. He might joke that I'm not subtle but it's never mean. We both try to phrase things as kindly as we can. It doesn't always work but we both know that even if we say the wrong thing we love each other and we can work it out. If something one of us says hurts the other person we always try to take a step back and clarify what was meant. "I don't know if that's what you meant but when you said X it hurt" goes a long way.
My partner is happy to feed my special interests and listen to me when I want to talk about them. I don't know if he is autistic or not but I give his intense hobbies the same respect. He genuinely finds some of my stims, ways of talking, mannerisms fun or cute rather than weird.
He is, and has always been, my safe space. We are best friends. He does whatever he can to make my life easier whether it's helping me avert a meltdown, helping me when I lose my words, or helping with my physical disabilities. Neither of us currently sees autism as one of my disabilities (although it definitely is disabling in some ways) because whatever the downsides my personality is what he loves. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't autistic and I am pretty fucking awesome.
YOU ARE READING
UNBROKEN - Book Two, Essays
Non-FictionBook Two of the Unbroken series, in which disabled/autistic/neurodivergent people tell about our relationships from OUR point of view. This book will be essays. If you want to contribute, please email me at elizabethroderick [at] att [dot] net
