among the stars / hyungwonho

11

In Hoseok's bed, Hyungwon threads his arms around him and whispers into his shoulder, " I'm glad you ran away."

"Same here," Hoseok says, carding his fingers through Hyungwon's hair. When Hyungwon tugs on the back of Hoseok's shirt, it's the most natural thing in the world for Hoseok to turn, crawl up over him just to lean down, press a kiss under Hyungwon's ear where he's sensitive and secret, press a kiss and add, "but don't do it ever again."

***

Some nights, Hoseok murmurs, "pretty," and, with one callused fingertip, traces the wing on Hyungwon's back, Hyungwon who sighs under Hoseok one word as much as his touch.

***

Some nights, Hyungwon sleeps deep and Hoseok can't, so he tucks the covers around Hyungwon, kisses his temple, and leaves to find Kihyun-- inevitably awake also. They talk or don't talk. Kihyun reads him a passage from a new old relic. Hoseok plays him a song on a mechanized simulacrum of an instrument called 'piano' and it's just like old times in the best ways, and not at all like old times.

Also in the best ways.

"I told you he wouldn't run away," Kihyun smiled.

"Yeah, I guess you're right about some things," Hoseok joked.

Kihyun let out a bellowed laugh before responding, "I'm never wrong!"

***

Some nights Kihyun is alone but not lonely. Kihyun makes a log, reads a book, watches the passing stars and knows: this is where I wanted to be.

All along.

***

 
'Forever' is subjective.

If Kihyun had ever thought to ask Hyungwon what he thought it meant, Hyungwon would have told him that he thought 'forever' was just another word for 'right now', but Kihyun never gets to ask him and in the years to come finds himself looking in shadowboxes and forgotten moons for the answer instead.

Never really finds it.

***

Red means danger, means fatality, but the ship has been red before and they've escaped alive, seen another year; so they have no reason to believe things will be any different when out of nowhere bounty hunters from Earth attack them. They pause at the heart of the ship before rushing -- Kihyun to the cockpit, Hyungwon to his own arm of the ship where the weaponry lays ready, Hoseok to the cockpit as well to support Kihyun. They have no reason to expect that it's not anyone's past that will be their undoing, but a complete stranger's greed and violence instead. they have no reason.

So when the ship starts to fail -- glaring with battered weak points, bruised with the last stand -- it's already more than that when Hyungwon's voice crackles over the intercom,

"I have an idea."

***

Hoseok shouldn't have let him. Kihyun shouldn't have let him. They argue about it until they have no voices left.

***

But right before that, Hyungwon slips impossibly lithe and agile beneath the half-fallen engine core where his nimble fingers do what needs to be done, Hyungwon keeps the promise he made to himself when he first moved onto this ship and knew before maybe either Hoseok or Kihyun: this is it.

As the sparks make a burning rain and the ship makes the jump it needs to in order to survive, the silence of space makes the last explosion a nightmare.

The ship is still dying but Hyungwonis dying too. Kihyun does his best to shield Hoseok and Hyungwon from the yet falling fire and scrap metal while crying like there's nothing else he's capable of doing anymore. Hoseok's hands are all over Hyungwon as if he could heal him by touching him and Hoseok would give his own life for that to be true but Hyungwon wouldn't want that. Hoseok kisses Hyungwon, tastes blood and cinder, tastes death's proximity and screams soundless into his skin.

Don't die.

"Please don't die,"

"So save me."

***

 
Months later find Hoseok zipping up his one bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. As he pauses at the door of his own workroom, he looks at his feet instead of looking back, punches in the code that will lock it even from Kihyun himself, and walks away.

Kihyun isn't surprised to find Hoseok gone but it hurts regardless. As he lowers himself into his chair, he puts his face into his hands and prays to no one.

He only looks up when the door slides open, a familiar footfall loud in the quiet ship -- restored as much as it could be.

Behind him, waiting is a ghost.

"Where are we going?" the ghost asks.

Swallowing a sharp heaviness, Kihyun rests his hands on his knees, looks forward even as he feels the ghost pause behind his chair. There are no jobs. There are no destinations for the sake of sharing places with the ones he loves. Which leaves only one answer. Kihyun coughs, turns and looks up at a familiar face, a familiar quiet mouth, and two eyes -- one brown, one gray. looks up, breathes softly, and says:

"Anywhere."

End

An: thanks so much for reading. I really wasn't sure if I was going to end it like this but I'm happy I did. I have a sequel planned which will end on a much lighter note :)