Lifeless

Tears ran down my face as I cowered in the corner, hugging my knees close to my chest. He is in the other room watching TV and obviously thinking about what to put me through next.

"Laura, darling!" my father calls to me. I shiver at the sound of his sweet sounding voice that deep down means I'm in trouble.

I get up off the ground slowly. With my legs shaking, I make my way towards my repulsive father. I stand in the doorway silently and look at my father with lifeless, lonely eyes.

"Come here baby girl," my father says, watching me walk slowly towards him in the dark room with nothing but the light from the TV to guide me. "Sit on daddy's lap." He says and I know well enough not to disobey him.

I sit on his lap and look at him. His cold hand touches my face lightly and I flinch at the contact. He moves some hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear.

My fake blonde hair has patches of brown down it everywhere but I've never dyed it. It stops three quarters of the way down my back and is slightly tangled and messy.

The kindness in my father's eyes is never there anymore. He takes pleasure in making me suffer. My father does terrible things to me, some that should never be said, let alone done, but nothing is stopping this horrid man from destroying me, mentally and physically.

"Such a beautiful girl," my father says, more to himself than me. "Shame that you're such a terrible person, isn't that right princess?" the man says to me and I nod.

We stay like that for another few minutes as my father watches the end of his show before getting up, making me stand too.

"Come," is all he says, as he walks into the kitchen. I follow silently behind him even though I badly want to run and hide away from this beast.

"Nat, where's Nathan?" my father asks my step-mother who is making dinner.

"Umm... I think he's in his room, playing darts." She says looking up from the chopping board. I shiver slightly at the knife she's holding and the thought of my step-brother playing darts. "Aww has little Laura been bad again?" she asks with a playful sad face.

My father looks at me with a smirk and I look down at the floor. "Sadly she has, been whispering to herself in her room, haven't you darling?" my father says and I nod shamefully.

"Aww honey, you know you can't talk so why try?" my step-mother says bending down to be the same height as my small frame. It was true what she said though. I can't talk. No one ever taught me how to talk. All I do is murmur to myself imagining that I'm talking and making sense. I understood myself but no one else did.

I want to walk away and cry but I knew my punishment would be worse if I did. My father starts to walk away and I follow like a lost puppy. We walk into the basement where my own personal hell exists. There is nowhere to run or hide so all I can do is obey.

My nineteen year-old step-brother runs down the stairs after us and is in a happy mood.

"What are we doing today father?" Nathan says looking at me with pure evil in his eyes, making me uncomfortable.

"Well Laura has been talking again so why don't we have some target practise and let her scream for a while?"

Nathan runs back upstairs to his room, getting his darts. My father goes to a cupboard off to the side of the room and pulls out one of his guns.

I'm trembling on the inside because I know what they are going to do – they've done it before, yet it was always split up. Now they're combining three punishments into one.

I am terrified but there is nothing I can do.

"Laura," my father says to me soothingly. I look up at him to show that I'm listening. "Come here." He says and I walk over to him. "You've been bad haven't you?" he talks to me as if I'm three years old; even though I'm sixteen, I can only just understand him. "Make sure you run, scream and cry." I nod, not entirely sure what he meant but he knew I would do what he said anyway, whether I understood or not.

My father threw his hand up telling me to go and I did just that. The room we were in was very big. My father wanted me to run knowing I didn't understand, he used his gun to shoot right in front of my foot. I took off.

I ran to the back of the room, wishing I could hide and waited for something to happen. After a few seconds, I heard my father load his gun and I run to the other side of the room. Before I even got half way, a bullet rips out a large chunk of skin on my leg. I fall to the ground, screaming in pain and crying.

I get up to run again but this time I'm slower. My hair is blowing behind me. I feel a rush of wind across my face. Half my hair is cut off from a knife thrown at me. Blood is pooling down my face from where it cut me.

More shots are fired and they scrape against my arms, legs and sides.

I'm clutching my side with tears running down my face like an endless waterfall.

"Laura!" my father calls. I stumble slowly back to where Nathan and my father are.

"Stand still." Nathan says and I know to stop. He throws a dart at the side that has been shot. It goes right where the bullet has pieced my skin, causing me to scream.

More darts are thrown at me hitting my arms and legs. I fall to the ground screaming and crying. My lifeless eyes were full of pain and tears.

"You're lifeless!" my brother shouts at me. "Lifeless," he says. "Learn the word, say it Laura. 'Lifeless'. " Nathan moves my mouth indicating for me to talk.

"L-l-life less," I stutter not sure what I'm saying. "Lifeless," I say one more time showing that I'd learnt the word.

"Good," Nathan says. He points to me and says 'Lifeless'. Then he points to himself and shakes his head. He repeats this three times and I nod, understanding.

My father walks up to me holding a knife and Nathan walks away getting something.

"What are you?" my father asks. I don't say anything and focus my eyes on the ground. He slashes the knife against my face. Blood pours out of my new wound. "What are you?" he says firmly.

I stutter. "L-l-life –," that is all I am able to say before another wound was on my face, deeper this time causing me to whimper in pain and more tears run down my face.

"No stuttering!" my father yells.

"Lifeless," I say this time without stuttering.

"good." He says and then turns slightly. Thinking he was going to walk away, I relax slightly. Then he cuts my arm deeply and I scream, holding my arm and falling to the floor.

I can't do anything. I can't get up and then feel two pairs of strong arms lifting me up. My legs get pushed inwards and I'm lowered slowly into a box. I know where I am – it's the box. I get put in here sometimes after a punishment.

I look up to see my father waving and my brother smiles at my evilly. The lid goes on and I'm left alone to starve for a few days.

*             *             *

This was my life. I would starve for days on end and no one would help me. I was extremely thin and would never gain any fat. I would gain nothing and no one knew, besides my horrid family, that I existed. No one would come; no one would help. I was born in this house and I'll die in this house.

I close my lifeless eyes and let my lifeless body go to sleep. This was my life and this is how it would stay.

I will forever be alone and lifeless...