The Fake Smile He Wears

Chapter 8

Hope you enjoy the longer chapter guys! Oh AND THANKS FOR THE 200 READS. I never thought I would get this far. Btw the failed colonies part was partially inspired by @37054ljh, you should go check out his/her United States of America series, I personally think it's great! Also me being the dumbass I am decided to do what I did last week since I was procrastinating again, I'm really sorry, but I'm just constantly tired all the time now. I've been like this for awhile. Welp once again sorry for the late chapter! Now enough about my life and my lame excuses onto the story! Oh and dahlia pinnatas look like these.
Picture ain't mine.

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"She was just so young. So innocent. She didn't know anything. She loved flowers. Especially dahlia pinnata. She rarely saw them, but whenever I got them for her she would smile as big as she could. She's-." America tried to say. His voice cracked as he couldn't say the one word he hated. Dead. He hated and loved death at the same time. He wish death would come to him, but death always took the ones around him. The ones he loved. And death took away Boston. The little girl who only wanted freedom for her people. She was only 5. Before she died. That day he promised on her grave, that he would be independent. He and the thirteen colonies, never talked about her. It brought up too many painful memories. Too many what if's. All he could think about were the possibilities.

"Who is she?" Romano asked. He cared about Alfred a lot. He wish he knew all of this, but he didn't. He knew some, but not all. All of them did. They all had many pieces, but they would never get them all. Alfred would never let them anyways. He has seen Alfred sad a lot today, but the expression on his face, was so full of sorrow and sadness. The dark circles, and the cheekbones poking out, he realized he never payed attention much. He flinched at the look on his face. They all did. He looked so tired, so exhausted, and so done with everything. He carry's so many dark secrets and burdens, that no one here can even compare. He honestly cared about Alfred like his own brother, even though he knew nothing about him. Alfred knew everything about him when he knew nothing about Alfred. He was always understanding and could sympathize when there was no one else who understood. He never pitied him. He hated when people pitied him, it makes him feel like he was lesser than them, like he was unequal. He was close to Alfred, but he always knew that he was still far away from really being close to him. All the things being revealed today, confirmed it. But he felt proud for being one of the people who knew about his kids. A few others did too, such as Belarus, Lithuania, Russia, his brother, Prussia, Denmark, and a couple others he couldn't remember right now. They were all close enough for Alfred to tell them, and he felt proud about that. At the same time he felt guilty for knowing when Alfred's own siblings, and basically his parents didn't know. They all pretended like they didn't know. They didn't want to make the others feel terrible for not knowing. He wasn't surprised that the others didn't know. If Alfred wanted something to be secret, it will be kept a secret.

"She was- was- my daughter. She- she- isn't here anymore." America said in a raspy hollow voice. He tried his best to get out what he could. He forced himself to say the words he wish weren't true. When she left him, it left him hollow. Just one more death. Just one more, and he would break. His mask would fall and crack into a million pieces. And then Boston died. Betty, the capital of Massachusetts. He wasn't sure why she existed, to this day he still doesn't. She was the only state capital to be born. He watched her grow into an active, loud, but funny little girl. A rebellious girl, who always stood up for what she believed in, even though she was so young. When she died all of the thirteen mourned. Massachusetts being the most affected out of the thirteen. He was the closest to Boston. But out of all of them Alfred was the most affected. There was no end in sight. It was just deaths upon deaths, crushed him beyond recognition. After her death, he refused to do anything, not even bathing, and eating. The thirteen had to use force. He was a broken mess. If, anyone saw him they would think he was insane and depressed as hell. And he probably was. The thirteen were broken too, but they loved their father, a lot more than he thinks. The love their father gave them was what kept them running, even though their love didn't keep him running. All of a sudden he got back up on his feet and declared that he was going to get freedom for England. They all agreed with him, they had seen many atrocities the British had committed and they have had enough. He saw the sad look on their faces. They were sad that Betty was driving him, yeah sure they were happy that he got back up on his feet, but the thought that they weren't enough stuck with them. He knew that they were sad so he allowed them to all help him with his plans. To show that he cared. Their sad looks disappeared He felt guilty for that, but his heart had been smashed beyond recognition. He has experienced so much death in his life, he had finally had enough. He just couldn't take it anymore. He had kids way before the thirteen. The failed colonies, they died too. All ten of them. Ten kids, dead before they were even 1. They would appear shortly in his life, bringing so much color in his black and white world. Then they would leave him. He would watch them all walk away. The tears he cried for them. Sometimes, he was so traumatized, he would forget about them, but he would always remember, always, no matter what. They didn't even know that they were dying. They were all so innocent. He wished that England, France, Spain, and the others didn't colonize so much. All it brought him was pain and suffering. The most painful part was seeing his own children wriggle in pain as they die. Sometimes he would wake up the next day and find them not breathing. They looked like they were sleeping peacefully. The others didn't even know. Even his other children didn't know. No one knew and he hoped to keep it that way. Sometimes he wonders if he could've done something, or what they would be like if they were still alive.