Anime One-Shots

🍋 Jean Kirstein x Reader (AoT) - One Hell of a Ride

Never once did I imagine I would end up as a scout.

Not once did it ever cross my mind, but now, here I was, sitting in front of a bland, boiled potato in the mess hall, whilst listening to a shaven moron boast about being some kind of genius.

"...and that's why my intellect far surpasses Armin's!" Connie ended with a proud nod, but he was only met with an awkward silence as the others at the table stared at him.

"Well...uh...that's...nice..?" Bertholdt chuckled as he gave him a forced smile, and I just blew a raspberry for the sake of stirring the cadet up.

"Either way, you're still boring." I pointed out bluntly as I slid my untouched 'meal' over to Sasha, who had been drooling over it ever since we sat down. As the brunette scarfed it down, I turned my eyes to another table, where our resident titan shifter and cocky asshole were about to throw hands.

"It's a fact! I took down more practice titans than you did! End of story!" Jean barked as he stood up, slamming his fist down on the table, dangerously close to Marco's plate. Eren copied him as he bared his teeth in a failed attempted to look intimidating.

"Bullshit! Can you even count?! I got seven, you got six!"

"Other way around!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Ya-fucking-huh!"

"Well...I wanna say I'm surprised...but I'm really not..." Reiner sighed; leaning his chin upon his palm. "I'm betting five on Jaeger." I just watched the pair through hooded eyes as the others placed their bets with the chin man. It didn't take long for their argument to turn physical, as Jean threw the ravonette over the table to the floor. Fists were flying and curses bellowed, but nobody was making any move to break it up.

Well...Mikasa's nowhere in sight...May as well...

I stood up and strolled over to the pair; casually walking in between them before Eren could sock the pretty boy right in the sniffer.

"As fun as it is watching you two idiots, you're gonna end up getting your asses kicked by Levi if you don't quit it." I sighed; folding my arms as though I was being serious. Eren did some little, aggressive jig on the spot before pointing an accusing finger towards Jean.

"Horseface started it!" He announced like a tattling toddler, and I turned to the man in question, who was about to blow his top again. Guilty or not, I knew this was my opportunity to have a little fun of my own.

"Aww, he's not a horseface, Jaeger..." I said in mock upset; sliding up to Jean and leaning up towards his ear as I let out a long, slow breath against his neck. "...though I'm sure you're one hell of a ride, aren't you..?" Cue a painfully flustered cadet, which made everyone exchange glances; wondering what on earth I could have said to make him redder than they had ever seen him. Before he could respond to me, our captain entered the mess hall with a deep frown. He scanned the entire room before his eyes settled at Eren's feet.

"Why are there scuff marks and skin cells on my floor, Jaeger..?"

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Later that night, I was wandering around the barracks, trying to find something to occupy myself with. There was a chess board floating around somewhere, but that was usually taken by Armin and Marco, and there wasn't much else to do besides train, talk or sleep. Most of the squadron avoided making small talk with me when they didn't have to after some of my little pranks. Connie ended up with half an eyebrow left after he picked on one of the veteran scouts for having bushy brows, and I had carved my name into every single one of Sasha's prized, secret stash of potatoes.