cool, no doubt - jake peralta

1

"are you ok?"

without hestitation i answered "yes" and hoped that jake, my best friend since kindergarten, would just drop the theme. i mean, yeah okay, i totally lied and even a blind guy could tell that but technically he was the reason because i was not okay. so i didn't own him any explanations, right?

i really should overthink my techniques when it comes to cope with like...anything, wow.

"are you sure? you seem a little bit dozed off.", jake stated and looked me straight in the eyes. fuck, i could go lost in them for hours. but i really need to stop falling deeper in love with him than i'm already are because first of all, he was my lifetime best friend. second of all, he has a thing for amy santiago, his co-worker. and third of all, i'm a depressed little loser which is completely out of his league.

"i'm okay, really, just some..stuff again, you know what i mean, right?" his smile disappeared and a worried expression filled his face instead. "shit, maddy..you can talk to me about it, you know that! i will always be there for you, okay? wanna cuddle?", he asked and wided his arms out. even though we already laid close besides each other i scooted closer to him and hugged him tightly. we were watching netflix on my bed and eating junkfood like every thursday since we were 12. i mean, netflix wasn't even a thing back then but nowadays everything is different and i'm quite thankful that i just have to click a few buttons instead of that whole dvd-player and dvd procedere.

a buzz let me jump out of my thoughts and got me back into reality. i was already on to get my phone from my drawer but jake mumbled a "its my one" into my hairs before he reached his hand out to get it. i stretched myself and strangled me out of his grip. i grabbed my phone too and recognized that its already 2:34am.

whooooops.

"shit, its late..we need to work tomorrow, jake", i yawned and stretched again, "do you want to stay here overnight?"
he didn't even bothered to answer and just kept grinning at his phone. i put my dark red hair into a ponytail and setteld myself into a nice position to sit. who was he texting?

"who is it?", i asked, trying to sound as non-interested as possible. i was able to hide my feelings for him for years now, i'm trained in holding my feelings down.

"oh just amy, she asks if i want to get some drinks with her. isn't that amazing, mads? she is finally noticing me!", he happily stated and looked me in the eyes. i faked a big smile and hugged him again until we both let go and he started to get dressed with his coat and his shoes. "have fun, jj", i smiled and tried to blink the upcoming tears away. "thanks m, see you tomorroooow!" he wiggled his eyebrows which maked me laugh a little bit and then just disappeard.
i stopped blinking my tears away after i heard the door shut and collapsed on my bed. why is the world so unfair? why is amy such a fucking...perfect..ugh, i don't know, i can't even blame her! she is beautiful, smart, i mean - yes, okay; she always wants to be the best but just because she had only brothers! even her backstory is perfect, god damn. i truly understand why jake wants to be with her instead of me.

"oh fuck me", i mumbled to myself as i turned the lights out and tried to focus on ted and robin on my tv. i sighed loudly when i remembered that i have to work tomorrow. with both of them. yeah.

can you hear my sarcasm?

but before someone thinks that i am a cop as well, i have to decline that.
you could say that i am the 'office-angel'. thats not the correct name for my job, but everyone calls me like that. you could say that i'm a different version of gina. since she is the personal assistent of captain holt, 99 needed someone new who was willingly to do all the stuff that everybody else was to lazy to do. i'm an all rounder and i honestly love it. i mean, besides the fact that i have to be around my crush and...his crush. which is one of my best friends..

yeah okay, i see the problem now.